hatred

Assalamualaikum,

I recall that moment, when someone taught me 1 thing that I am still learning till now.... hatred

(Kita hanya mampu benci perangai dia, bukan orangnye)

I'm not a saint, even though I tried many times to accept that person as who he is and whom he is becoming, but due to his past mistakes... everytime I look at him, that anger and disgusted feelings keep crawling back inside of me. I know, people make mistakes... and I make mistakes... so this is just the nature of life. but.....

He made 1 huge mistake, and we confronted each other. I cried bitterly and speechless looking at the sin they had done. and he cried bitterly thinking about how stupid of him to make those mistakes.... we reconciled... but after a few month, i caught him red-handed, that he was doing it all over again.

So, what is the meaning of atonement??
How many times should he be doing the same mistakes until he learned his lesson?
And how long should a person atone for their mistakes, that we can actually see that they are regreting it?

That is why I had enough of saying, "aku tak layak benci org sbb aku pn bukannya baik sgt..."
Now... I hate him, and I am declaring that I could not stand being near him....

But, deep inside, I still want to save this soul... but, how? with repetition of the same mistakes... again and again... Am I that strong enough to uphold the same feelings of pity and regrets??

I guess the only answer is "sabar"