Assalamualaikum,
I kept on wondering, when will the day that I will learn to love someone so deeply come~?
As how they always thought, every question will have it's answer. And answers for questions about life are always in the form of paper 2 science paper, part B : essays.
We had it all. I thought, I was giving my full responsibilities to it. I was taking it for granted. I keep on pushing them beyond the limit. And when the moment showed the result, they are depressed. 1.158s from 1.045s was A LOOOT different.
At that moment, I knew I had to say something. A good words? An encouraging phrase? A scolding node? I have no idea. And for that, I was speechless. I couldn't think of anything. I never felt the silence so loud in my life. All I could do was standing besides them... hoping my feelings would be conveyed to them, without the use of any words...
"I'm sorry for being a jerk to all of you..." I wanted to say this soo badly but my mouth just wouldn't move. I guess my ego has taken charge of my rational mind. I was so selfish. They need me more than anyone, but I was taken back by tiredness and ego, that I was starting to lose the grip.
Losing is a great experience as well. At least I know that much... but, when it involved someone who are becoming a dear to me... Hurting them by losing is not an option. It hurts so much to see them learning the experience of losing... But it is still for the best of them. I believe that with this experience, they will become a better adult that the rest of the kids now ^^
No comments:
Post a Comment