I have been changed for good

I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…
~Glee : for good~

I've met a person. He may not be an amazing person, but he did left a deep impression inside of me. He brings back the passion and feelings that I'd lost all this time. Astrophysics.

He may not realize this, but I got back on track of what I have been believed in because to him. As people always say "sape mkn cili, dia terasa pedas". hehe. If he is reading this right now, u may not feel the 'pedas' but you may feel the warmth inside of you. What I want to say is, thank you for coming into my life at the right moment. I'm really really glad that I met you. Again, thank you~

Fight-oh !

My depression period ended a little. After a full night out, eating, thinking, shopping, thinking, walking, thinking, driving, thinking and fall into a deep sleep. But throughout the whole depression period, I had friends supported me. I knew I was never alone in this world.

I hate myself for hurting my mum, my dad, my sis and the ones who are always close to me. They are the most amazing people I ever known. I will always looked up to them. I always envy and wishing I could be as strong and matured as them. But I am my own person. Maybe not this time, and maybe not tomorrow either... but someday I have to obligate and pay them back the kindness that they showered me in a time of need.

and YUI's song never failed to fill and strengthen back my spirit. Listening to her voice makes me want to continue living in a meaningful life of mine and others as well. My main goal of life is to become the superman, wanting to always help others. Even though my main interest will always be astronomi....

Dream Crushed...!!!

Confirmed. KPM will never let me go... I'm breaking up rite now... But after some deep thinking, i realized. I used to say that being an astronomer is suppose to be a life-long journey and battle... so, I shouldn't give up now... right?
=)

Am I here?

Lawatan Ilmiah ke Malaysia Airlines, daripada kelab F1

OMG, this would be my first and last lawatan I'll ever conduct in my entire life. the list of the unfortunate events...
1) Aircon bas rosak selepas 30 minit perjalanan bermula dari sekolah
2) bdak2 laki seramai 26 org dan perempuan hanya 6 org... keadaaan mula panas, bdak2 laki mula membuka baju di dalam bas....
3) seorang kanak2 muda jatuh pengsan di malaysia airlines dan di hospitalized selama 2 jam... guru2 yg terlibat dan ketua rombongan (aku) cuak habis2an~~
4) 5 minit bermula perjalanan pulang, bas rosak di tgh jln.... apekah????
5) parents keep on calling me asking about their kids.... haish~

Even though I lose hope and gave up many times before, I'm still glad that I organized this quite unusual trip for the kids and for myself as well.

That's the bad thing about it. I'm announcing, I received an offer letter of scholarship from USM to further my study for PhD in Astronomy. And I also received letter of acceptance from Uni Of Nottingham to further my study there in UK again. But for a condition that KPM will let me go....

This is my dream job, I want to be an astronomer my whole life... I'm getting my dream to be alive.... but yet... I started to love learning about human relationships. How human can hurt and heal each others feelings. How they argue and reconcile again. How that they managed to be with the ones they hate and eventually they cannot live without each other... I always watched the drama about all of this so-called "nonsense". but by mixing with people, I learned that relationship is a wide mystery. And I'm started to love in learning about human interactions.... So what whould I do? Quit my teaching job and be an astronomer??? please, someone just tell me what to do~!!!

Blending In...

Being a teacher is a good job. I love being around kids, learning from them as teaching them about life and how difficult it would be as they growing up. But the main cause of headache are the paperworks. Fail panitia, laporan post-motem, buku rekod kehadiran, laporan aktiviti mingguan, minit mesyuarat, buku P&P, kertas kerja F1, Laporan Water Rocket, senarai buku latihan.... and the list goes on and on.

I'm using my method of "no comment" for every single comment I got from them. I really hope my patience will overflow. I need it to be overflow. Please....

Maturing....

There will be times when I was so close to him yet we are so far apart. We only been apart for less than a year but... He grew up, being a matured adult and a much better person than I am.
What is this feeling inside of me?
am I jealous?
or am I sad because I can't read his feelings anymore?
The sayings "we realise things are precious once they are lost" have its own truth. Our friendship is slipping away and yet only after meeting him again that I realised.
I hate this! Maturing is a pain in the ass.

Wake up call...

Do Not
Undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different, that each of us is special.


Do Not...
Set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you..


Do Not...
Take for granted the things closest to your heart
Cling to them as you would your life for without them life is meaningless.


Do Not...
Let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.


Do Not...
Give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.


Do Not...
Be afraid to encounter risks
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.


Do Not...
Shut love out your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.


Do Not...
Dismiss your dreams
To be without dreams is to be without hope
To be without hope is to be without purpose.


Do Not...
Run through life so fast that you forget
not only where you have been but also where you are going.