Dear Diary... (uweekk)

Assalamualaikum,

It's almost going to be the end. Filling in the "borang serah tugas" gives me the chill. There are a few of achievements that I got but A LOT of disappointments and UNFINISHED business. But as life goes by, we still have to live in it. So letting go is the only wise option to move on...

There is this guy. Long time ago (as in last year) I have this kuch kuch hota hai everytime he came close to me. My hands shivering, my mind couldn't think clear and my heart would be pounding fast. I could feel this heat around my skin. I have no idea what is this feeling. But once we had the chance to talk, for only a few seconds, the discussion will lead to nowhere and within a few minutes, the moment would be nothing but boredness. So, why did I felt the heat sensation everytime he is nearby?

I learnt a lot this past 12 months of 2011. I had been given the golden chance to conduct F1 in schools. even though it requires a lot of my free time and my comitment towards the team, but the moment we had together was fantastic. I learn a lot from them. How to trust them, how to let them loose and matured in their own way, how to have a deep faith in them, how to guide them through the hardships, the betrayal and also the frustation. Even myself had a few moments of ups and downs. I learnt about the management of my own personal and work life (even though it is still in a mess)

But one thing that I am sure of... I have no idea what am I suppose to learn about relationship. I am still sucks at it. All my previous methods and moments keep on repeating the same way with no positive outcome at all. I have no idea in which direction should I change. I am still myself, with failed relationships and friendships as well. Even my own family are drifting away from me. Relationship is a pain in the ass~

Scar-ring

Assalamualaikum,

Lama sey tak update... my 'babies' (bak kata kak yati) Infinity F1 Team dpt fastest car!!! tp oleh kerana terlalu byk rule yg dah diketepikan, kami hanya dinobatkan sbg tempat ke3. Ape2 pn, yg penting, we are all going to the National Finals!!!

n finally, the days are coming close. He and she will become One. And I will be there throughout the moment to support them. I guess I am much matured now. I think I can handle it. It is just for one day right? Can I? Can I really let it go? when he is standing right in front of my eyes? With a smile and laughter? I have no idea~~ But 1 thing for sure. Both of my best friends are getting married =))

Someone asked me, "Ann, ko ok tak? Dia dah wat invitation facebook" And I replied, "Oh, aku busy dgn F1 smpi aku terlupa nk tgk..."

Isn't it just an excuse? For not to care....

But maybe, I am prepared for this. Allah will only give us a test for us to overcome it, not to make our life more difficult. I believe in Him.

To both of you, congratulations!!