Soul Searching Trip

Let's find that passion again!!!!

Blog is under maintenance.... To be continue~~

Stop Bullying

I've always wondered, is there any bullying in Malaysia? Who does have the bad intention of bullying someone? What is bullying?

"Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose"

Bullying is not just based on physical abuse... A type of bullying also include the abusive used of verbal or threatening the safety of others. I was naive to see any bullying within my students as I always thought that people would never consider bullying anyone. Unfortunately, I realized the meaning of bullying in the hard way. And yes, I was the nerdy kid who actually got bullied despite of having the naive-innocent thought about human.

How can we stop bullying?

Bullying can be in many form. Any repetitive discomfort that a person cause to another person can also be a type of bullying.
As a witness, we should do something to defend the victim and stop the bullying.
As a victim, they need to realized that they are being bullied before confronting the bullies on their own. But these victims need to have a support group. So, find a group of friends who may not stand by you when you are in need, but at least will stand with you when you are lonely. This is when the Gossip Group is important. They may keep on gossiping about a lot of people, but they sometimes can also be the perfect fake friends who would support you in the time of depress.
But don't get depressed too much, as others might also find you annoying. Thus, the most important thing about standing up against the bullies is mentally strength. Be firmed with your decision. If the bullies came from a group, you may feel alienated or losing friends for a while, but the good ones will come around. So don't worry about those so-called friends-bullies.
And always remember that "Allah will always be with you"

"Akak tak pernah niat nak burukkan Ann" Stop with the sugar-coated words. 

Kalau tak pernah niat, tapi tetap terbuat, itu bermaksud kejahatan dah terserap dalam diri sampai tak sedar sedang dilakukan.... lagi bahaya tu~

Diperbodoh sekali maybe kerana baik hati,

Tapi kalau diperbodoh berkali-kali, itu memang dah bodoh betul....

STOP BULLYING

Lost By My Own Change

"I don't need a narrowed view that only seek what's 'Normal' and find a safe haven, I prefer a wider world than stay still... because that way is far more interesting"

Warau Kanoko-Sama, Stubborn, Lonely yet still stay strong with her own words and feelings, Kanoko learnt the beauty of life not just by observing others, but by helping in any way that she can without realising it. The unwanted kindness (^_^)

http://mangafox.me/manga/warau_kanoko_sama/

Can we go back to the past~??

Weeping willows sits all alone,
with no one to love, no one to hold,
Thinking of the one who faded away,
She prepare herself for another long day.

Her freedom was founded,
In a house made of stone,
As she was finally given,
A home on her own.

But in only an instant,
    it all went away,
Leaving her just with the memories,
    of a man who couldn't stay.

She readies her future,
   but can't shake her past,
A life filled with love,
That just wouldn't last.

She longs for the day,
They will meet once again,
Completing their painting,
   of beauty within

The angle will dance,
and the prophets will sing,
She will sit by contented,
    to watch the whole thing....

Ikhlas ke tak ni..?

Setelah berusaha memikirkan cara2 utk menghabiskan RM1.2 juta duit kerajaan... last2 namaku dikeluarkan daripada mana2 aktiviti melibatkan luar negara. Nk wat camna... dh nasib badan~~

Ikhlas. Mcm mana nk detect pekerjaan yg kita lakukan adalah tulus dan ikhlas.
This mind is set, so please heart don't speak anymore...
Dipetik daripada teater BLEACH (x ingat part 1 ke 2)

Yang penting kerja disiapkan dengan rasa lapang dan selesa... ikhlas atau tak, ukuran bukan kerja kita sbg manusia biasa yg hina. Yakin akan kepentingan pekerjaan kita dapat meringankan beban yang lain. Dan yakin kita adalah berguna kepada masyarakat ^^

I offer myself to you

"Miss Elliot, I can bear this no longer. You pierce my soul. I'm half agony, half hope. Unjust I may have been. Weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years ago. I have loved none but you. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. Have you not seen this?"

Persuasion .:Jane Austen:.

aaaahhhh~~~ the beauty of conservative language of English. And the sweet conservative love of time before urban. What happen with the language of people with time...?  And what happen to the shape of love in time?

Before the introduction of electromagnetic waves to the world... before the widely usage of handphones, email, messenger or even facebook... Love was suppose to be the Trust, Faith and Believe without the need for introduction or falling in love. Love was determination. Love... was marriage.

But now, love is something that you need to work for it. You need to be introduced to it. And you need to fall for it. Before moving on to engagement and marriage. And the worst case scenario is when they say that "Yang kita sayang x semestinya yang kita kahwin"

What about those conservative love for soldiers at war.... When they are married without knowing who is the other half... when all the wives can do is waiting faithfully for their husbands to come back alive (okay, I got this idea from the novel Isteri Hanaoka Seishu) and yet, when the husbands came back, the tangerine feelings inside are precious and priceless. This is what they call "I knew I love you before I know you" by Savage Garden.

Inspire

"You cannot demand change from people, you can only inspire them..."

Lying to be Perfect .:movie:.

These few words of an incomplete sentence that actually came from an unknown movie, has actually gave a deep meaning to myself. What do these words meant? Why am I bothered by these words...

After 2 years of becoming a teacher, i started to feel bored with everything. Repeating the same thing over and over again.... aren't you people get tired of it?? I was wondering, what is this job about? If its about giving them the knowledge, they can just read the books and conduct their own experiments. So, what is the purpose that I am here?

 

Inspirations..... As I received this message from one of my ex-student, somehow everything just fit in. I knew the reason why I am here... Why I have to be here... 

to be the helping hand for them,

to be the one that telling them to dream big and wide,

to be the one to push and give them a little courage to have that 1st step,

to be the one to catch them when they fall,

to give them strength for them to pull through,

to let them experience the life success and failure,

to let them know the importance of love and family,

 

to be the inspiration for them to be a better person.... a much better person than myself

and to inspire is a very huge responsibility~~

X tolak Y

soalan dlm bhs melayu...
X - Y = Y jatuh.... Y minta tolong... tp Y tak ramai kawan

menimbulkan persoalan lain...

kenapa Y tak balas tolakan X?
Y tetap akan jatuh sbb Y cuma ada 1 kaki tp X ada 2 kaki... so lebih stabil...

Nice words with compilations of maths and symbols... based on what we learned in ToK
~Language Bewitched~

To ....

Those complicated words,
In every entry that you posted,
Never fail to lift up the warmness,
Sweetness and tenderness feelings,
which I thought was only felt in lonely days,
But now I know its for others as well.

I love how you make me smile,
Felt with the smiles of thousands,
 When I realized you shine the world,
Giving that tiny light to everyone,
In these vast darkness of the universe,
With just little common words of yours,
That somehow relates deeply inside,
For one and many.

 Even though I know that future are separated for us,
I still need a little courage,
To say the words 'thank you'
for just being you.....aa

Words

Sometimes, simple words can have quite a lot of meanings and giving the warm understandable feelings

STPM extravaganza...

YES!!!!

5 students were announced to achieve straight As for STPM.... and the best part is.. all of them are from physics class.... my class!!!! kihkihkihkihkihkihkihkih



Despite all the hard work... all the annoying reminder... all the frustrating workload... and it came out just fine... These are my 1st batch of students... and I am their only Physics teacher. I fell in love with them from the 1st class i entered... with 3/4 of noisy boys... and some pretty noisy girls as well... I was crying bitterly, don't even know how to handle these young adults...

But in the end... it's all worth it I guess.

Thank you and CONGRATULATIONS to all PraU 3 Science 1 for making my first year of teaching the most exciting until now.
^^

"You Suck At Love"

We started off incredible
Connection undeniable
I swear I thought you were the one forever
But your love was like a loaded gun
You shot me down like everyone
'Cause everyone's replaceable
When you're just so incapable
Of getting past skin deep

Guess what, another game over
I got burned, but you're the real loser
I don't know why I've wasted my time with you
You're bad news, a history repeater
You can't trust a serial cheater
You're good at hooking up but you suck at love

You played me like an amateur
Then stabbed me like a murderer
I'm left for dead, another one of your victims
It's not like you're unpredictable
But your act is so believable
I know it's nothing personal, it's just business as usual
You're good at what you do

It's kinda feel sad... when I infinitely hate a person... just because that person resembles me too much... too similar... and I dun really like that part about me~

Random kindness....

Ketika sdg masukkan duit dlm cash machine CIMB...

sekeping duit RM100 taknak diterima mesin pandai itu~
dh rmai beratur kt belakang tunggu turn....

ketika diri sdg mengucapkan "the f word" ... ada seorg akak sentuh bahuku di belakang.

"duit adik takleh masuk mesin ke? nh tukar rm50 x 2 dgn akak"
"eih, haaa...." daku terkedu.

setelah masukkan, mesin nk plak terima RM50 x 2 tu... cit~

"eh, kak... terima kasih" tu je yg mampu aku balas dgn tunduk sbg tanda hormat...

random kindness from a stranger is really sweet ^^

Resolution

I fell in love with someone's blog. Especially this particulay post. sweet... ^^
(this is a re-post. credit is not mine)

My Private Prayer

Every morning, I'll say a brief prayer as I leave for work.
I pray for my parents and my three sisters.

I pray that today will be a better day than yesterday,

I pray for my every action and my every word will be out of necessity and that it leads to a greater purpose.

If today was meant to be a bad day for me, I pray that I am able to accept with humility and that I'll find the underlying wisdom.

I pray that I'm always reminded of what I do not lack.

I pray that I am content with what I now hold.

I pray that I am able to firmly hold on to what really matters, and am able to easily let go of what is not (though at times I have difficulty to distinguish between the two)

I pray that my every waking moment makes me a better man,

If today was meant to be my last, I pray that I'll be able to say that I've lived a full life, and am prepared to move on to the next.

hatred

Assalamualaikum,

I recall that moment, when someone taught me 1 thing that I am still learning till now.... hatred

(Kita hanya mampu benci perangai dia, bukan orangnye)

I'm not a saint, even though I tried many times to accept that person as who he is and whom he is becoming, but due to his past mistakes... everytime I look at him, that anger and disgusted feelings keep crawling back inside of me. I know, people make mistakes... and I make mistakes... so this is just the nature of life. but.....

He made 1 huge mistake, and we confronted each other. I cried bitterly and speechless looking at the sin they had done. and he cried bitterly thinking about how stupid of him to make those mistakes.... we reconciled... but after a few month, i caught him red-handed, that he was doing it all over again.

So, what is the meaning of atonement??
How many times should he be doing the same mistakes until he learned his lesson?
And how long should a person atone for their mistakes, that we can actually see that they are regreting it?

That is why I had enough of saying, "aku tak layak benci org sbb aku pn bukannya baik sgt..."
Now... I hate him, and I am declaring that I could not stand being near him....

But, deep inside, I still want to save this soul... but, how? with repetition of the same mistakes... again and again... Am I that strong enough to uphold the same feelings of pity and regrets??

I guess the only answer is "sabar"

Usaha dan doa...

Assalamualaikum,

Usaha dan doa... Yup, i know that much that both are equally important. But sometimes, i kept on wondering, in which way should I be 'berusaha'?

I've been praying all the time. Even when I was a baby. It's not that I'm don't believe in the power of a doa... but, I think, for doa to happen, we ourselves should change towards that doa. I have deep faith in doa. And because of that, I am determine to change myself into a better person.

Yes, CHANGING. I'm beginning to learn that doa sememangnya dtg dgn usaha. So, to find my own love life (which i know, the hardest part in my life...) there must be something wrong with me somehow. Why I'm still single throughout my 25 years of living? I'm pretty determined, that I am changing myself now. Not completely. I hope there will always be my own principle in my own life, but I am changing to be a better woman than I was before. I will change the way I look, the way I walk, the way I talk, laugh, smile and the crucial part is... the way I think.

I want to be strong, I want to be kind..... (yasashiku naritai by Saito Kazuyoshi)

pissed

Okay, I know that I'm not as rich as you are. I can't afford to buy expensive things like u all did. I can't belanja all of u to nice meals... I know, my salary is so small and to live in a high standard lifestyle as u guys are out of my reach. And I know that my debts are very deep.

But please don't treat me as I'm the poorest of them all. My bill is more than rm150, so what? I still can afford to pay it. I want to eat good food, I still have a few bucks left to buy them. So why are you so fussy about my own financial treatment. Stop treating me and say out loud "takpe2 ann, aku byr... aku mampu" WTH! I also mampu ok. "ann ada duit tak, amik laa skit ni" I know my own financial, so leave me alone. STOP treating me like I was in the "BERSAMAMU". Yes, I'm not rich enough. Yes, I have debt in my account. Yes, I can't afford to even enter those expensive stores like u did. But please leave me alone. Don't stress me out man~ It makes me living with you guys giving me a LOT of pressure... Now, that's why I'm seldom at home. I'm sorry, but this is who I am. Just let me be thankful with whatever I have... for now ^^

F1 in Schools (Infinity F1 Team 2011)

Infinity F1 Team

Despite all the rumours, haters, lovers, supporters, tiredness, sleepless nights, foods, disruption, betrayal, unsatisafaction, beatings, embarassments, arguements, fights, laughter, smiles and all other things that we learned.... We had become a better person inside and out.

Best Team Identity

Engineers at work

Infinity F1 Team vs Swifter

To all the F1 in Schools members, THANK YOU for giving me the opportunity to experience all of them.

The day when I'm speechless

Assalamualaikum,

I kept on wondering, when will the day that I will learn to love someone so deeply come~?
As how they always thought, every question will have it's answer. And answers for questions about life are always in the form of paper 2 science paper, part B : essays.

We had it all. I thought, I was giving my full responsibilities to it. I was taking it for granted. I keep on pushing them beyond the limit. And when the moment showed the result, they are depressed. 1.158s from 1.045s was A LOOOT different.

At that moment, I knew I had to say something. A good words? An encouraging phrase? A scolding node? I have no idea. And for that, I was speechless. I couldn't think of anything. I never felt the silence so loud in my life. All I could do was standing besides them... hoping my feelings would be conveyed to them, without the use of any words...

"I'm sorry for being a jerk to all of you..." I wanted to say this soo badly but my mouth just wouldn't move. I guess my ego has taken charge of my rational mind. I was so selfish. They need me more than anyone, but I was taken back by tiredness and ego, that I was starting to lose the grip.

Losing is a great experience as well. At least I know that much... but, when it involved someone who are becoming a dear to me... Hurting them by losing is not an option. It hurts so much to see them learning the experience of losing... But it is still for the best of them. I believe that with this experience, they will become a better adult that the rest of the kids now ^^

Dear Diary... (uweekk)

Assalamualaikum,

It's almost going to be the end. Filling in the "borang serah tugas" gives me the chill. There are a few of achievements that I got but A LOT of disappointments and UNFINISHED business. But as life goes by, we still have to live in it. So letting go is the only wise option to move on...

There is this guy. Long time ago (as in last year) I have this kuch kuch hota hai everytime he came close to me. My hands shivering, my mind couldn't think clear and my heart would be pounding fast. I could feel this heat around my skin. I have no idea what is this feeling. But once we had the chance to talk, for only a few seconds, the discussion will lead to nowhere and within a few minutes, the moment would be nothing but boredness. So, why did I felt the heat sensation everytime he is nearby?

I learnt a lot this past 12 months of 2011. I had been given the golden chance to conduct F1 in schools. even though it requires a lot of my free time and my comitment towards the team, but the moment we had together was fantastic. I learn a lot from them. How to trust them, how to let them loose and matured in their own way, how to have a deep faith in them, how to guide them through the hardships, the betrayal and also the frustation. Even myself had a few moments of ups and downs. I learnt about the management of my own personal and work life (even though it is still in a mess)

But one thing that I am sure of... I have no idea what am I suppose to learn about relationship. I am still sucks at it. All my previous methods and moments keep on repeating the same way with no positive outcome at all. I have no idea in which direction should I change. I am still myself, with failed relationships and friendships as well. Even my own family are drifting away from me. Relationship is a pain in the ass~