~Warmy Schweeet~

"You Suck At Love"

2012-01-24T05:05:00.000-08:00

We started off incredible
Connection undeniable
I swear I thought you were the one forever
But your love was like a loaded gun
You shot me down like everyone
'Cause everyone's replaceable
When you're just so incapable
Of getting past skin deep

Guess what, another game over
I got burned, but you're the real loser
I don't know why I've wasted my time with you
You're bad news, a history repeater
You can't trust a serial cheater
You're good at hooking up but you suck at love

You played me like an amateur
Then stabbed me like a murderer
I'm left for dead, another one of your victims
It's not like you're unpredictable
But your act is so believable
I know it's nothing personal, it's just business as usual
You're good at what you do

It's kinda feel sad... when I infinitely hate a person... just because that person resembles me too much... too similar... and I dun really like that part about me~

Random kindness....

2012-01-10T05:25:00.000-08:00

Ketika sdg masukkan duit dlm cash machine CIMB...

sekeping duit RM100 taknak diterima mesin pandai itu~
dh rmai beratur kt belakang tunggu turn....

ketika diri sdg mengucapkan "the f word" ... ada seorg akak sentuh bahuku di belakang.

"duit adik takleh masuk mesin ke? nh tukar rm50 x 2 dgn akak"
"eih, haaa...." daku terkedu.

setelah masukkan, mesin nk plak terima RM50 x 2 tu... cit~

"eh, kak... terima kasih" tu je yg mampu aku balas dgn tunduk sbg tanda hormat...

random kindness from a stranger is really sweet ^^

Resolution

2012-01-03T00:23:00.000-08:00

I fell in love with someone's blog. Especially this particulay post. sweet... ^^
(this is a re-post. credit is not mine)

My Private Prayer

Every morning, I'll say a brief prayer as I leave for work.
I pray for my parents and my three sisters.

I pray that today will be a better day than yesterday,

I pray for my every action and my every word will be out of necessity and that it leads to a greater purpose.

If today was meant to be a bad day for me, I pray that I am able to accept with humility and that I'll find the underlying wisdom.

I pray that I'm always reminded of what I do not lack.

I pray that I am content with what I now hold.

I pray that I am able to firmly hold on to what really matters, and am able to easily let go of what is not (though at times I have difficulty to distinguish between the two)

I pray that my every waking moment makes me a better man,

If today was meant to be my last, I pray that I'll be able to say that I've lived a full life, and am prepared to move on to the next.

hatred

2011-12-21T02:32:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum,

I recall that moment, when someone taught me 1 thing that I am still learning till now.... hatred

(Kita hanya mampu benci perangai dia, bukan orangnye)

I'm not a saint, even though I tried many times to accept that person as who he is and whom he is becoming, but due to his past mistakes... everytime I look at him, that anger and disgusted feelings keep crawling back inside of me. I know, people make mistakes... and I make mistakes... so this is just the nature of life. but.....

He made 1 huge mistake, and we confronted each other. I cried bitterly and speechless looking at the sin they had done. and he cried bitterly thinking about how stupid of him to make those mistakes.... we reconciled... but after a few month, i caught him red-handed, that he was doing it all over again.

So, what is the meaning of atonement??
How many times should he be doing the same mistakes until he learned his lesson?
And how long should a person atone for their mistakes, that we can actually see that they are regreting it?

That is why I had enough of saying, "aku tak layak benci org sbb aku pn bukannya baik sgt..."
Now... I hate him, and I am declaring that I could not stand being near him....

But, deep inside, I still want to save this soul... but, how? with repetition of the same mistakes... again and again... Am I that strong enough to uphold the same feelings of pity and regrets??

I guess the only answer is "sabar"

Usaha dan doa...

2011-12-20T07:25:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Usaha dan doa... Yup, i know that much that both are equally important. But sometimes, i kept on wondering, in which way should I be 'berusaha'?

I've been praying all the time. Even when I was a baby. It's not that I'm don't believe in the power of a doa... but, I think, for doa to happen, we ourselves should change towards that doa. I have deep faith in doa. And because of that, I am determine to change myself into a better person.

Yes, CHANGING. I'm beginning to learn that doa sememangnya dtg dgn usaha. So, to find my own love life (which i know, the hardest part in my life...) there must be something wrong with me somehow. Why I'm still single throughout my 25 years of living? I'm pretty determined, that I am changing myself now. Not completely. I hope there will always be my own principle in my own life, but I am changing to be a better woman than I was before. I will change the way I look, the way I walk, the way I talk, laugh, smile and the crucial part is... the way I think.

I want to be strong, I want to be kind..... (yasashiku naritai by Saito Kazuyoshi)

pissed

2011-12-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know that I'm not as rich as you are. I can't afford to buy expensive things like u all did. I can't belanja all of u to nice meals... I know, my salary is so small and to live in a high standard lifestyle as u guys are out of my reach. And I know that my debts are very deep.

But please don't treat me as I'm the poorest of them all. My bill is more than rm150, so what? I still can afford to pay it. I want to eat good food, I still have a few bucks left to buy them. So why are you so fussy about my own financial treatment. Stop treating me and say out loud "takpe2 ann, aku byr... aku mampu" WTH! I also mampu ok. "ann ada duit tak, amik laa skit ni" I know my own financial, so leave me alone. STOP treating me like I was in the "BERSAMAMU". Yes, I'm not rich enough. Yes, I have debt in my account. Yes, I can't afford to even enter those expensive stores like u did. But please leave me alone. Don't stress me out man~ It makes me living with you guys giving me a LOT of pressure... Now, that's why I'm seldom at home. I'm sorry, but this is who I am. Just let me be thankful with whatever I have... for now ^^

F1 in Schools (Infinity F1 Team 2011)

2011-12-04T01:53:00.000-08:00

Infinity F1 Team

Despite all the rumours, haters, lovers, supporters, tiredness, sleepless nights, foods, disruption, betrayal, unsatisafaction, beatings, embarassments, arguements, fights, laughter, smiles and all other things that we learned.... We had become a better person inside and out.

Best Team Identity

Engineers at work

Infinity F1 Team vs Swifter

To all the F1 in Schools members, THANK YOU for giving me the opportunity to experience all of them.

The day when I'm speechless

2011-12-02T06:56:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum,

I kept on wondering, when will the day that I will learn to love someone so deeply come~?
As how they always thought, every question will have it's answer. And answers for questions about life are always in the form of paper 2 science paper, part B : essays.

We had it all. I thought, I was giving my full responsibilities to it. I was taking it for granted. I keep on pushing them beyond the limit. And when the moment showed the result, they are depressed. 1.158s from 1.045s was A LOOOT different.

At that moment, I knew I had to say something. A good words? An encouraging phrase? A scolding node? I have no idea. And for that, I was speechless. I couldn't think of anything. I never felt the silence so loud in my life. All I could do was standing besides them... hoping my feelings would be conveyed to them, without the use of any words...

"I'm sorry for being a jerk to all of you..." I wanted to say this soo badly but my mouth just wouldn't move. I guess my ego has taken charge of my rational mind. I was so selfish. They need me more than anyone, but I was taken back by tiredness and ego, that I was starting to lose the grip.

Losing is a great experience as well. At least I know that much... but, when it involved someone who are becoming a dear to me... Hurting them by losing is not an option. It hurts so much to see them learning the experience of losing... But it is still for the best of them. I believe that with this experience, they will become a better adult that the rest of the kids now ^^

Dear Diary... (uweekk)

2011-11-17T02:23:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum,

It's almost going to be the end. Filling in the "borang serah tugas" gives me the chill. There are a few of achievements that I got but A LOT of disappointments and UNFINISHED business. But as life goes by, we still have to live in it. So letting go is the only wise option to move on...

There is this guy. Long time ago (as in last year) I have this kuch kuch hota hai everytime he came close to me. My hands shivering, my mind couldn't think clear and my heart would be pounding fast. I could feel this heat around my skin. I have no idea what is this feeling. But once we had the chance to talk, for only a few seconds, the discussion will lead to nowhere and within a few minutes, the moment would be nothing but boredness. So, why did I felt the heat sensation everytime he is nearby?

I learnt a lot this past 12 months of 2011. I had been given the golden chance to conduct F1 in schools. even though it requires a lot of my free time and my comitment towards the team, but the moment we had together was fantastic. I learn a lot from them. How to trust them, how to let them loose and matured in their own way, how to have a deep faith in them, how to guide them through the hardships, the betrayal and also the frustation. Even myself had a few moments of ups and downs. I learnt about the management of my own personal and work life (even though it is still in a mess)

But one thing that I am sure of... I have no idea what am I suppose to learn about relationship. I am still sucks at it. All my previous methods and moments keep on repeating the same way with no positive outcome at all. I have no idea in which direction should I change. I am still myself, with failed relationships and friendships as well. Even my own family are drifting away from me. Relationship is a pain in the ass~

Scar-ring

2011-11-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Lama sey tak update... my 'babies' (bak kata kak yati) Infinity F1 Team dpt fastest car!!! tp oleh kerana terlalu byk rule yg dah diketepikan, kami hanya dinobatkan sbg tempat ke3. Ape2 pn, yg penting, we are all going to the National Finals!!!

n finally, the days are coming close. He and she will become One. And I will be there throughout the moment to support them. I guess I am much matured now. I think I can handle it. It is just for one day right? Can I? Can I really let it go? when he is standing right in front of my eyes? With a smile and laughter? I have no idea~~ But 1 thing for sure. Both of my best friends are getting married =))

Someone asked me, "Ann, ko ok tak? Dia dah wat invitation facebook" And I replied, "Oh, aku busy dgn F1 smpi aku terlupa nk tgk..."

Isn't it just an excuse? For not to care....

But maybe, I am prepared for this. Allah will only give us a test for us to overcome it, not to make our life more difficult. I believe in Him.

To both of you, congratulations!!

3...2....1....GO!

2011-10-20T19:25:00.001-07:00

The race is on...

This is the time when I can't even relate to myself which one is more important. With my life as a mess as it is, I'm starting to wonder am I really doing it right.... But when I can actually get it right? It is still favourably unknown...

I want to teach the students the art of learning on your own. Gaining the experience which will maturing their innerself, but still depends on how they perceived things. But because of that they were somehow left behind. And I felt that it was my fault. I couldn't do the job right. Am I someone who take things easy? Why can't I have an arranged lifestyle? Why is it so difficult for me to re-scheduled my life~? And the sad things is, it affects others so much...

But I was stunned by one my students. Faiez said, "takpe ckgu, sy mmg percayakan kemampuan Meng...". That's it. That's my problem all these while... Why can't I trust my own students? They've done so much to gain that trust, but why have I neglected that.... to my Infinity F1 Team members, I am trully sorry for neglecting my duty as an advisor~

Cannot find the title

2011-10-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

iye, sy sudah kembali kepada zaman2 gilakan photography. Bukannye sy yg gemar mengambil gambar, tp menjadi penggemar meng-usha gambar..... Deviant Art is back~!!!

Percaya la~

2011-10-06T02:42:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum,

remember when they say that "cikgu tak boleh berat sebelah..." ?
well, I failed. I admit, I have a few favourite students where I put my deep interest into them. I started to get to know them, feel their need and interest and I finally put my 100% trust into them.

Idrus. A boy from my practical school. Now studying form 5 in SMK Aminuddin Baki. The first time he started to amazed me was when I did a game of water rocket with the students. Even though his rocket was the lousiest, but the way he thinks was the best. And in the end, he won 1st prize with no fancy decoration of his rocket...

then, about a parachute design to save an egg from a 3rd floor. By looking a the a few pictures of military parachute, he design a whole new look of a parachute. superb~~

then, the program "Physics is Fun". Again, he amazed me. I gave one of the most impossible task, but he did create something out of nothing. That was the moment that I realized, he is really something. The world need to see his mind. People will get amazed. I have a deep believed in him. So, I try to sign him up for National Water Rocket competition. I really want the world to see him... but, I was only a practical teacher. And world always been cruel to others.... =(

I guess my intention was pure. A few months after that, I was already working permanently at SSI, he contacted me again. There was a small competition organized by UTM and he's entering. And I was assigned to send SSI students to the same competition too... But, my intention was to make the world noticing his talent. So, we met and I gave him the brief idea about Deep Water Floating. This competition was about designing an oil station which will float on the deep water without any support from the solid ground. We only met for 2 days. He also knew I was trapped between him and my own SSI students.

During the competition was the best moment ever. He had to fight against Form 6 students and Maticulation students. At first, I could see his eyes wondering nervously. I mean, he was just a Form 5 students from a very normal school. But yet, I was smiling broadly. My wish has been fulfilled. He amazed the whole audience, including pengarah MMSE, Malaysian Marine Southern Engineering and the vice-chancelor of UTM. His design was amazing. His idea was brilliant. He won the 2nd place because of his lousy english presentation (I was expecting this =.=" ) but he won the best design. If only you could see the brilliant of his design.....

And here I am, helping him to apply for scholarship after his quite lousy result for trial spm =.=" .... I am really hoping he could get a scholarship into any mech or civil engineering. I had a deep interest in him and I am still do. I really want to see him with success. He has such a great talent not to be wasted. And I also believe that Allah will always sees him as how I'm seeing him =D

Lie To Me

2011-10-02T05:02:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum,

There is a person, who can't make up his mind about how he feels... which makes my feelings like riding a roller coaster. There are times when I feel like the ride is boring and there are a few moments that I can feel the tickles inside my heart.... And there are times that I feel like getting off this roller coaster because I can't take it anymore...

But, there are also some times when I feel like going with the flow and let the Creator decides my anxiety of the ride.

Humans are interesting. They tend to make up stories as to be the most interesting narrator of someone's life. They also tend to create excuses just to make sure that others will look at them as the victim of the misfortune.... I love looking at people from afar... trying to read their behaviour and learn about their thinking. As I enjoy watching them, I have a quick thought.

"Why is it so difficult for human to just be honest?" (including me) =P

Honesty is the best policy. Trust can highly be earn based on honesty. Other people will understand somehow, maybe not instantly but the best thing about human is... tanpa disedari, they like to show off their trueself. So sekiranya anda berbohong... x kira sunat ke tak... ur true feelings will always be showing off. Others can clearly see them. You r shaking your leg, brcakap tersekat2, mata brkelip byk kali, brcakap sambil pandang tempat lain... X payah laa brsusah payah nk bagi alasan... action speaks louder than words =))

"To make your children capable of honesty is the beginning of education"

money money money

2011-09-28T03:21:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum,

Am I a super clumsy person?

Di kala keluar senyap2 untuk balik solat zuhur di rumah... hati ada sedikit terusik akan kalau-kalau... tp bukan selalu ke buat... biar laa... okies, mulakan enjin, terus keluar dgn laju... smpi di persimpangan puaka RTM aku pn dgn tgk kereta2 di kanan... okies, free... vroom~~

*bang* oh BS sungguh!! aku terlanggar belakang myvi putih. dia angkat tangan, aku angkat tangan... ok2 aku sedar aku salah... aku pn follow dia smpi kemuncak 2... kih3 jiran aku rupanye. aku pn keluar kereta minta maap byk2... nasib baik amoi tu sgt sungguh baik hati... cara ckp lembut je... dpn kete aku plak. kui3 remuk habis geliman...

dah lambat... kene balik sekolah, aku pn minta kebenaran papa nk guna kete vios bw g sek. mmg aku masih belum mengerti sebab2 kemalangan kot... *bang* vios papa langgar kete saga putih aku~ apekah?? aku terasa sgt emosi... duit aku dah laa disebabkan seseorg tu... aku berhutang dgn bank... tambah ni pulak... punye laa dlu2 aku tak pernah pk nk buat duit byk... ni salah satu ujian Allah kot, ttg penilaian duit dlm diri aku... aku sombong sgt dulu ni~~

di sekolah, aku mencari hiburan sendiri... dlm kepala aku dah sgt tensi... tp aku ttp pk jgn hambakan diri dgn duit... cari hikmah sebenar ann~~

Sweet~Heart

2011-09-25T04:25:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum,

Dulu aku selalu terfikir.... hidup aku patutnye skang senang, xde anak nk pk, blk umah dr keje leh terus tidur... tp selepas aku berjumpa dgn rakanku yg baru 4 bulan melahirkan anak... pandangan aku dah berubah kembali...

"Dulu aku selalu fikir, penatnye diorg ni... balik rumah kene layan kerenah anak pula... dah laa keje mmg bertimbun2... kalo aku, mmg susah laa nk fikir..." kata2 kawan aku...

"tapi lepas dpt anak... 1st thing yg nk sgt tgk lepas keje adalah anak... walaupn dia nangis kuat mana pn, aku ttp rasa nk tgk anak aku sepanjang masa... tak kesah busy mane pn, terasa hati aku tenang lepas tgk muka anak aku... "

maybe, itu sebabnya perempuan2 yang telah menjadi isteri dan bonda kepada anak mereka ni dan juga seorang career woman.. aku selalu pandang diorg sbg super woman. But they can become stronger just by the presence of their loved ones. Their strength are the face of their children. Bila agaknya aku akan dapat merasai kekuatan itu? Hanya Allah yang tahu dan InsyaAllah, aku meminta izin daripada Allah untuk membenarkan aku merasai perasaan itu~

F1rst Love

2011-09-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

"Cinta pertama banyak mengajar seseorang itu mengenal apakah makna cinta. Namun begitu, cinta pertama kerap kali membuatkan seseorang itu terlalu taksub mengejar cinta kerna takut kecewa." (fb Nabil Jainal)

1st love always gonna be THE love that we will always remember...
Itulah masanye kita mula berlaku jujur dgn perasaan yg bercampur baur...
masa itulah kita belajar cara memahami seseorg yg sepatutnya takde ape2 kene mengena dgn kita....
masa itulah kita mula sedar dan memerhatikan kebaikan org yg lain...
dan masa itulah kita belajar utk memperbaiki diri supaya dpt menjadi setaraf dgn cinta pertama~

My 1st love... I see him as a perfect guy next door. He was really near but yet I felt that he was very far for me to reach. I kept on denying the feelings I had but after he slipped through my fingers, then I realised how stupid I am for not keeping him close to me... And then... the 'What If.." questions kept pumping out

What if, we can just be true to our thoughts with each other?
What if, he could sees me as a woman before he met her?
What if, I had told him my feelings before?
What if....?

But, that was 8 years ago... my wisdom and mind had grown so much that I can find the 'hikmah' of why Allah send those feelings for him to me if He hadn't want us to be together. Looking back at the road I had taken, I can smile while thinking about those thoughts. Because of him, I've grown to be a much 'beautiful' and better woman than I was before. The only reason for me to meet him 8 years ago and fall deeply in love with him was to create the present me... of who I am now.
^^

this commercial really reminds me of him =)

The end.... for now

2011-09-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

Finally I replied;

Hi Chris,

It turns out that my previous sponsor would not transfer my working contract to my current sponsor. I have to work for my previous sponsor for 8 years. Unfortunately, I have to decline the PhD offer by University of Nottingham. I am really sorry for any inconvenience that I have caused.
Please accept my deepest apology to you and to the university for taking your time.
Thank you.

Regards,
Nor Othman

and he replied;
Nor

Sorry to hear that, best of luck.

Chris

I think, he already guess the circumstances that I might not gonna make it. And I was super embarrassed with my childish behaviour over the past few months to him. But now, I am determine to follow my dreams in my own way, without the so-called help from others... especially in financial =)

It's the end... is it?

2011-09-18T14:33:00.000-07:00

5.30pagi subuh, di kala selepas bersahur utk puasa 6 syawal...

	from	Christopher J. Conselice conselice@nottingham.ac.uk
to		ann othman
date		Mon, Sep 19, 2011 at 12:52 AM
subject		Re: Nor Othman
mailed-by		gmail.com
signed-by		gmail.com
		Important mainly because of your interaction with messages in the conversation.

" Hi Nor --

Just wanted to check in and see how things are going. I realize you
aren't going to make it for this autumn, but can you give me some
indication of how things are going with your sponsor and when you
might be arriving?

all the best,

chris "

So, bagaimana agaknye aku perlu membalas email ini... Skali aku membalas, bererti peluang emas permata 100% pure akan hilang buat selama2nya...Chris Conselice merupakan supervisorku ketika final year project dan dia juga merupakan supervisorku utk PhD kali ini.... I salute this guy... he is the only one in Europe has the direct key to the Hubble Telescope.... Tapi, as an adult, I should make things clear for both parties rite?
Aiseyyy~~

shy

2011-09-14T07:10:00.000-07:00

Looking at you
Thinking and wondering
What is in your mind right now?
With the cutest silly face of yours
Can my smile reach you?

I remember your kindness back then
Your sweetest smile
... with your warmest words
Are still fresh in my mind
Did you notice,
... I felt my heart twitched that day?

I'm keepng my distance,
and I keep it consistence,
Shying all the way~

Maze of feelings

2011-09-12T04:50:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt,
that your life is kinda perfect that you want to always keep it that way...
and out of the blue, suddenly you felt that your life worth nothing at all?

"What the hell am I doing here?"

I am in this situation now.... suddenly I felt that everything that I knew stumbles down. I have no direction in life, neither a place where I can go back to... the place where I can feel being loved and comfort. So, how am I suppose to move on when I don't know which way to start my steps?

When I felt this way, usually I would think about others who are in situations far more worst than mine. Kwn sy telah diletakkan di atas sebuah pulau yg sgt daif.... slow internet connection and the place is always smelly.... dan seorg lg kwn sy telah ditempatkan di lahad datu, yg kalau nk balik kg, kene amik 2 flight, and flight2 yg ada jarang2 je... so I should be thankful with what I have now.... rite?

But right now.... I have no idea what is right and what is wrong anymore~

Bye2 My Life Diary

2011-09-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

Passport A 16066949

Pemilik yang disayangi ^^

Visa Pelajar UK 2006-2009

Pergerakan pelancongan kluar dari Luton, London

Penerimaan di Amsterdam, Holland dan Skatvsa, Germany

Obsessive Yui di Hong Kong

Visa obsessive YUI ke Tokyo, Japan

Penerimaan ke Narita, Japan

Round2 negara ke-3 europe dgn keretapi bersama rakan2

Sedih dan hiba bila passport lama dipotong sebagai tanda penamat penggunaan maksimanya kepada tuan empunya.... Terima kasih kerana telah memberi pelbagai pengalaman yang sekarang dapat digunakan untuk kematangan diri dan rakan-rakan....
Bye bye A 16066949
And Welcome abroad A 250******
^^

5 perkara sblm 5 perkara : sihat sebelum sakit...

2011-09-08T13:33:00.000-07:00

8 September 2011;

tepat pukul 2 pagi, aku terbangun drp tidur.... perut mcm buat hal... berbunyi2 drp td~

2.30 pagi: mula muntah... sakit smpi ke hidung tu.... lepas muntah try tidur balik...
3.00 pagi: perut berbunyi2 lagi... tidur tak lena... 1/2 jam selepas itu, muntah lagi... selepas muntah, try utk minum air2 masam... try utk tidur kembali...
4.00 pagi: muntah air yg diminum td... mknn dlm perut dah hbs dikeluarkan kot... takleh jd ni... kejut linda, minta segala jenis ubat yg dia leh fikirkan....
5.00 pagi: muntah ubat2an yg dimakan pula... adess, mmg sah aku kene mc ari ni~

7.00 pagi: call sekolah, Iskandar pulak yg angkat... of cos tak smpi 30 minit, satu sekolah dah tau aku muntah2 ingatkan sbb mkn berlebihan... adess
7.30 pagi: dapat msg drp 7 org kawan2 daripada SSI bertanyakan keadaan diri yg sakit ini... 2 org students pun post kt wall fb aku tanye psal ape aku tak dtg sek....terasa terharu pulak diorg rmai2 risau psal aku... ughuu~~
9 pagi: setelah sejam menunggu, akhirnya dpt jumpa Dr Muru... dia ckp perut aku sensitif dgn minyak sapi... tp mmg dari dulu aku takleh tahan bau minyak sapi pn.... bak kata Linda, walaupn sakit seharian, at least dpt tau kita allergy ape~
12 tgh hari: ubat tahan muntah dia sgt tak sedap~~~ sakit aku tak menurun.... papa dah risau, call Linda ckp aku semakin nazak~ huhu... Linda pn risau g call Dr Teoh yg busy sokmo tu... aku lak pk, mhal2.... haha
5 ptg: Linda belikan ayam goreng McD dgn bubur McD sbb dia ckp org yg muntah perlukan garam yang banyak utk otak supaya tak sakit kepala sgt...
8 mlm: tido smpi pkul 4.30 pagi td... skang rasa dah boleh bergerak tanpa sakit sgt....
Alhamdulillah~

Kesimpulan daripada tragedi ini... Sy sgt terharu rmai org risaukan psal sy... At least now I knew I have a lot of friends in need who are my true friends indeed. Thank you =)

Arigatou...

2011-09-06T01:17:00.000-07:00

During my period of stress, I try my best to hide it. Via online or by face... except for my blog. hehe. Sedangkala ketika nk tido awal smlm sbb malas nk pk ape2... tiba2 handphone aku brbunyi...

"You okay?" msg kwnku yg dh lame tak dgr berita dan tinggal di seberang perairan berbunyi...
"ok je, nape?" aku balas....
"I can sense what you're thinking deep down inside you" dia balas

Di kala msg itu telah membuatkan air mata aku akhirnya jatuh... Without any hint, he knows... then I realized, I have a lot of wonderful friends around me.

To "Neo Wei Loong", thank you so much for this wonderful friendship ^^

Tarik nafas dalam-dalam::....

2011-09-05T04:06:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum,

Di kala sedang menaip utk blog ini.... sy sdg stress giler...

sy tak tau kenape,
... adakah 90% kemungkinan suara sy mmg takkan kembali?

... ataupn, sbb my-so-called-ex yg kapel tak smpi 2 minggu tu....dah bertunang?

...ataupn, sbb saya kene kerja sabtu dan ahad ini walaupn sy dah rancang utk melawat sedara di Muar?

...ataupn, sbb my best friends semua dah bertunang?

...ataupun, sy masih belum mengisi markah eksperimen utk mereka yg STPM tahun ini?

...ataupn, sy masih belum mula buat soalan utk akhir tahun PraU peringkat daerah?

...ataupn sbb hormon sy mmg tgh tak betul skang ni....kah?

tp sy mmg tgh stress super... and I know that misery loves company, so sy dh mula mengeluarkan ayat2 yg org kata "saje cari gaduh". Bahaya~~ Sebelum ape2 berlaku... sy perlu offline dan tenangkan diri~

Pentingkan Diri

2011-09-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

"aku kan... kalau ada sorg mamat gedik2 call aku, aku malas layan... off line je" sorg kwn aku pernah ckp....

"tp aku tak terasa sape2 pn nk tergedik kt aku... Dia mmg tgh stress, nk off line mcm kesian giler kot. Dia agak memerlukan org utk dgr je" aku balas...

"Ko ni kn.. kadang2 kita kene blaja pentingkan diri, supaya org tau limit dia dan tak menyebabkan org lain salah faham..."

Perbincangan ini berlaku antara aku dan s******* ketika salah seorang kawan aku lelaki selalu call aku sbb tgh stress dgn tunang dia...

Aku prnh tgk satu movie ni... ada satu ayat dia yg menyebabkan aku agak tersentap.
"If you want someone to love you, you need to learn to love youself first..."

Dulu org slalu nasihatkan aku, jgn pentingkan diri... tak baik. cuba pkkan org lain dulu... So smpi skang aku akan try utk pkkan org lain dulu... smpi aku terasa secara tak sengaja, I'm hurting the people who actually really care about me.

1st:
Instead of kwn2 aku yg call, aku akan suh diorg off, biar aku yg call. tak smpi ati lak nk suh diorg hbskan kredit utk aku je.... aku lak pkai bil, line lg murah kot~

2nd:
Kalau aku nk bli ape2, aku start kete trus je cari sendiri2. kalau ajak org, aku rs bersalah diorg kene tunggu aku pilih2 brg utk aku sendiri....

3rd:
I'm the maid-of-honor for the wedding of the first guy I ever loved. Dulu akak aku ckp aku dah gila, saje nk sakitkan hati sendiri... tp takkan aku nk tolak, dua2 tu kwn baik aku~

So, mcm mane cara untuk pentingkan diri? bukan itu sesuatu yg tak baik ke?? Aku byk kali tanye org, mcm mane nk jd org yg pentingkan diri..?
dan ada seorg sahabat telah memberi nasihat yg bernas

"Ann, aku rs ko kene bykkan membaca... supaya bila ko rs terlalu pentingkan org lain, ko lebih berhemah utk menjawab instead of ko berfikir utk pentingkan diri sendiri"

Home Sweet Home

2011-08-31T20:07:00.000-07:00

Poem ini direka ketika di UK dan homesick giler2 nk balik JB~~~

Dedicated just for you "Johor Bahru"

Undecided
I have no idea what to think
Am I here, or am I not?
I need to focus,
But I'll still end up thinking about you,
What should I do?

Running as fast as I could
I don't want to stop here
I want to keep on running
Away from here, away from you
But I still do want to meet you
What should I do?

The plan I drew was perfect
But getting lost is still alright
I just don't want to be lost from your sight
I'll keep on tracing the path
Just wait for me, I want to be there with you
Let's keep on running
...to the place where we promise to meet again

Akhir Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

2011-08-28T03:52:00.000-07:00

It's the last night....

Tonight may be the last tarawikh for 1432 Hijri and that will be the end of Ramadhan... Mari kita merefleksi diri sendiri. Orang kata kalau ada perubahan yg baik, bermakna puasa dlm ramadhan kali ini berkesan....

1st :
Berat badan turun 4 kg~~ rekod yang agak membanggakan setakat ini... Tp rasanye, raya ni tak sampi sehari dah naik lebih drp 4 kg ni. hehe.
Namun bila direnung... kiranye kan, kalo aku org2 daif yg makan ikut portion bulan puasa... setiap bulan turun 4kg... setahun turun 48 kg... 25 thn aku hidup ni??? hmmm~~

2nd :
Telah dpt melatih diri memperbanyak ucapan InsyaAllah dlm pertuturan harian. Ni semua salah motivasi zmn2 sek dlu.... diorg akan selalu ckp "Jgn kata KALAU, katakan AKAN LAKUKAN, PASTI LAKUKAN..." Then lepas baca surah Al-Kahf (18: 23 dan 24) baru tersedar, segala yg dipercayai kebolehan diri adalah terhad. Tanpa izin Allah, tak mungkin ape2 akan berlaku. Oleh itu, ucapkanlah InsyaAllah (Hanya dengan izin Allah) untuk meminta izin Allah, barulah sesuatu yg diharapkan akan berlaku...

3rd :
Latihan utk mngurangkn perkataan "siot, bangkai, babi, sial" tidak mndapat hasil. Penggunaan perkataan2 kurang sopan itu telah brleluasa di mulut ini. Terutama untuk kelas PraU... hehe. Tapi, brakhirnya Ramadhan bukan brmaksud brakhirnya prubahn. Ramadhan hanyalah pndorong prmulaan kepada prubahn yg baik.... InsyaAllah~

4th :
Tarawikh telah ditinggalkan di kala aku demam agak teruk hari tu... tp org kata demam dn sakit tu ujian drp Allah. Org2 yg sabar mnghadapinya InsyaAllah akan mendapat keberkatan dan pahala Allah.... tp aku, ntah brape byk kali menyumpah2 time demam ari tu... salahkn org lain jangkitkan demam lg... buat alasan demam malas tolong mak msak lain... adess~~~

Akhirnya Ramadhan akan meninggalkan diri ini yg masih blum sempurna dn masih dipenuhi keraguan tentang keburukan dlm diri. Aku tetap akan mengharapkan bulan2 lain memberi kenikmatan dan rahmat drp Allah sentiasa.... Amiin~~

Selamat Hari Raya dan Maaf atas semua salah silap yg dilakukan dan maybe akan dilakukan tanpa sengaja. 0-0 (^_^)

Motherly Luv.... ke?

2011-08-25T06:48:00.000-07:00

It's him...

I felt in love from the first sight I saw him... Sgt sopan dan baik... sgt comel... sgt menghargai org... Walaupun sekarang dia dah bahagia bersama keluarga angkat yang baru... tp tiap2 kali nmpk dia, hati ini mesti rasa terusik...

bila dia dah besar, bila dia dpt tahu sbb2 dia diambil sbg anak angkat... rasa2nye dia akan sedih tak?

Tp, diri ini sgt sungguh menyayangi sikecil yg tidak berdaya ini~

Rayee....

2011-08-25T01:45:00.000-07:00

Seketika di pagi raye, beberapa tahun yg lepas...

.:Inspiring Miracle:.

2011-08-20T15:47:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum,

Sy rasa sy perlu tulis dlm blog tentang hal ini....

How do you define miracle? Adakah berdasarkan duit jatuh dr langit berbillion2... ~amiinn~ ataupun, perubahan kebaikan mendadak dlm kehidupan secara on spot? (tp syarat kebaikan perlukan latihan [istiqamah]) ataupun, minyak wangi Lancome 'So Miracle' kah? haha

I experienced one miracle yesterday.... hehe *blush* (^^)

kesahnye... Dah 2 hari tak g masjid utk solat tarawikh... khamis ada rewang iftar di rumah kak ermazaini... kitorg msak2 smpi buka then lepak2 smpi kul 9 mlm kt rumah dia... balik, aku terus pengsan dgn tak mandi, smpi kul 4 baru solat isyak dan tarawikh then sahur.... kuikuikui.

then jumaat ada iftar bersama budak2 F1 kt Restoran Singgah Selalu... smpi kul 8.15 br balik rumah.... kejar2 solat maghrib. Then mandi baru solat isyak, pastu solat tarawikh kt bilik... kul 12 dah gone~

Smlm bgn2 kul 11 pagi (hehe) tgk muka kt cermin.... pergghh, 2 jerawat besar kt hidung dgn pipi kiri jelas kelihatan. Dgn muka berminyak2.... adess~ sepanjang hari pk, nk letak ubat ape eik? basuh muka siap make up remover walaupn tak pkai make up beberapa hari ini... haha. tak hilang2 juga jerawat2 besar merah ni.... adess~

mlm tu, lepas maghrib, kluar2 bilik, der... ayah dah g masjid sorg2~?? kt luar dh dengar azan isyak.... takleh jd ni, dh lame gak aku tinggalkan tarawikh kt masjid. dgn spontannye, amik kunci kete trus drive laju g Masjid Kolam Air... sampai2 je dah Iqamah, nasib baik Allah tolong beri petunjuk utk parking... ngehehe. On spot smpi, takyah cari2 terus park kt tepi bukit... Then solat laa smpi tarawikh 8, Istikarah pastu again witir ingat nk wat kt umah tp gone pd tidur~~

Then, jeng3..... smpi2 rumah je, terkejut sbb jerawat2 besar kt muka aku semua terus ilang~ kuikuikui... Alhamdulillah.... Bak kata Payat Notts "Muka org yg berwudu' 100 kali lebih lawa daripada perempuan yg make up tebal seinchi..."

So, itulah definisi Miracle bagiku.... jerawat hilang dgn sekelip mata~ ngehehehe =)

Sy takut....

2011-08-18T23:09:00.000-07:00

I am feeling numb this whole past 3 days... no feelings what so ever
And now I present to you my strong feelings right here only in this blog...
^^

I already banned myself from 'ngumpat-ing' people. But today, I listened to other people 'ngumpat-ing' other people. I tried to neutralized their anger but it's still based on their own mind set whether they r going to accept any of my opinion or not. Hati manusia ni sbnrnye tak pernah berniat jahat, diorg kadang2 cuma tak sedar kesan2 perbuatan diorg kpd org lain... Then jeng3... diorg berckp yg org tu ckp buruk psal aku...

hati aku tiba2 memberontak... psal ape eik? nk tau gak... kenape2 org tak ske aku?? diorg mula bercerita... tiba2 perasaan terhadap org yg bercerita psal aku tu berubah kepada tak baik skit.... then otak aku mengambil alih keputusan... kalau aku teruskan dgr bende ni, aku akan forever ubah pandangan aku terhdp org tu... so secara on spot, aku tukar tajuk... safe~

dlu rum8 aku pernah ckp... "Ann, muka ko dah tak innocent mcm dlu..." then aku jawab, "aku dah tgk byk bende2 buruk psal kehidupan... nk maintain innocent ape nyer~" Manusia ni mmg pelik. Minda diorg sentiasa berfikir... kadang2 kita kene let loose. ada bende ni tak worth pn pk... abaikan je...

Tapi.... still deep inside my heart, I am really scared. What if, there would be no more innocent cell inside of me. What if, every single things inside of me are tinted black dgn dosa.... Aku sgt takut aku akan jd jahat.. aku jd ske ngumpat org, bandingkan org, tikam belakang org, ske sakitkan hati org... Aku dlu pernah pk nk duduk sendiri je kt makmal fizik form 6... tp, smpi bila aku nk lari... aku sedar yg walau ape pn terjadi aku kene bergaul dgn masyarakat... walaupn aku sgt penakut, at least aku kene berlakon jd seorg yg tabah dpn mereka. Mcm mane nk lindung hati daripada anasir2 yg tak baik ni eih? Kadang2 aku terikut2 juga diorg 'mengumpat'. But at least I know, I cannot always choose the right path because life is not just a road to the end, it is also a lesson learn with time, rite? =)

Rahsia untuk kurus...

2011-08-17T01:22:00.001-07:00

Perjumpaan berbuka puasa bersama2 warga IPTI....
Zarirah "ko makin kurus laa ann... ape rahsia?"

Mak Guard SAB ketika nk kasi zakat mama pada pelajar2 miskin SAB...
"uish, ape dh jd cikgu, makin kurus ni...."

Berjumpa Kak Ani (makmal) di makmal ketika pelajar sdg sibuk dgn eksperimen...
Kak Ani, "Ann makin slim aa skang..."

Dlm seminggu, dah 3 org ckp aku makin kurus. Yg plg pelik adalah Kak Ani yg sentiasa jumpa setiap hari.... ada org ckp sbb baju aku ari ni agak besar, so nmpk bdn aku kecik. Ke puasa di bulan Ramadhan ni dah menunjukkan hasil.... ataupun....
aku dlm era emotionally unstable

Iye, itu yg aku perasan tentang diri yg serba kurang ni.... setiap kali aku risau akan sesuatu... berat badan aku akan turun dgn mendadak. Kalau ada org yg sentiasa bertemu sua pn ckp aku nmpk kurus, bermakna berat badan aku sdg turun secara mendadak.... dan kesimpulannya, jiwa aku tgh kacau~

Apa agaknye yg merisaukan.... byk bende kot.
F1 ada sebulan je lg sblm pertandingan...
STPM Physics Percubaan lg 30 hari je....
KPM dgn kurang ajarnya pergi umumkan ke-reject-an mereka terhadap aku pada semua penjamin dan USM....
Duitku sekarang bergerak selaju air terjun....

Tp bila aku fikir balik... semua org ada masalah lebih besar drp aku.... aku takyah pn kene isi borang SAPS tu... aku takde anak nk kene siapkan masak dan kemas rumah... aku takyah pn nk update2 file kelab ke ape semua tu.... aku ajar pn stakat 2 kelas je. Kelas aku pn 11 org je.... so, kenape jiwa aku terasa sgt kacau...? sbb aku sgt mengada2... baru ada kerja skit pn dah nk membebel... nk jiwa kacau... malas makan... taknak bergaul dgn org... apekah Ann? mengada2 giler kot~

"Stop making those pity faces as if people would want to sympathize you..."

Oh, lupa pula... td ada ex-students STPM Physics 2010 dtg utk cop sijil2 diorg... aku dlu ajar diorg tak smpi 5 bulan pn... tp ada seorg ni telah mengeluarkan kata2 "Tcher, thank you for teaching us Physics last year..." dgn ayat mcm tu je pn... hati aku dah melted~

Unprepared

2011-08-16T13:56:00.001-07:00

Di kala daku sdg melayan kebosanan yg melampau, terjumpa ayat2 ini dalam diari lama.
Karya ini terhasil sehari sblm final exam dlu2...

Dituju khas buat paper exam... tp dh tak ingat exam tajuk ape.
But the words may also be applied to anything related other than examination.
*lawakkan.... org sibuk blaja, aku sibuk tulis poem~ huhu*

Finally it came,
Hoping to pass by him,
...without looking back,
Hurriedly, quickly,
...please don't let him notice,
The incomplete of me.

Stiffing the dust of tomorrow,
My hand tried to grasp the emptiness,
Looking at the long road,
...Uninviting and unpleasant.
I have nothing with me,
I am unprepared,
But I have no other choice.... right?

Lying on the bed,
Looking outside through the dusty window,
Will I get through tomorrow?
Ya Allah, only You can decide,
And I will always follow...

Enchanted

2011-08-13T05:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was suppose to be in her concert at London tp disebabkan final project presentation hari esoknye.... aku telah memilih presentation. tp kalau naik train mlm tu lps konsert sempat je utk presentation esoknya tu....Hehe. Skang masih terasa rugi super tak g konsert dia kt London hari tu~~~
yg kt singapore pn terlepas jugee~~

Please dun be in luv with someone else...
I was enchanted to meet you....

okies, aku terasa live dia yg ini juga agak super! hehe ^^

akhirnya aku blaja gak cara nk letak youtube dlm blog.... nyahahaha XD

A simple line

2011-08-12T06:35:00.001-07:00

"A simple line can make u laugh... or cry~"
.:Westlife~ Flying Without Wings:.

Yes, just by a simple sentences or even a simple word...

1) Strangers of different backgrounds and attitude can become friends for life. The kind of friend in need is a friend indeed....

3) Friends can turn into lovers. If they r brave enough to confront their own feelings... dan diorg betul2 berani untuk berhadapan dgn feelings dalam diri sendiri dan tak menipu kata hati diri~

2) Friends for years could become enemy for life.

3) Roommates for 4 years can become enemy in sleep (dalam kata melayunye, gunting dlm selimut)

Okay, I get it that both of u are not in good terms with each other.... but please leave me out of this mess. What's the reasons of all the questioning... if u could think deep, the questions are all directed to a fight and war... then let's stop this.

Why can't human just think only about the good of others??? Itu akan membuatkan hati lebih tenang kan~~

Seperti lirik lagu YUI: Again
"Stop making those pity faces as if you are the only victim here..."

Reflecting

2011-08-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum,

This week is the most frustrating week. But I did say the same thing for last week... haha. but this week is really the worst.

I've reached the point where I keep on asking myself, "What is the reason for me to be here? Everything that I try to touch crumbles down..."

1) I received the memo from Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia that my request will not be granted. They will never approved of me going to pursue my PhD. I always think that this is what I always wanted. To just stay here. But, seeing how devastated my parents were, hurt me a little.

2) STPM... I had enough of this. I woke up early morning just to study the papers but still I couldn't get the answers. "Cikgu, I want to hantar u to mahkamah syariah... Why?... Because u always bagi ajaran sesat to ur students.." ZAP- tertusuk hati ini... But it is my own fault. Due to my frustrating era skang... I couldn't focus much on soalan2 fizik stpm. Fokus laa Ann~

3) Besides, this is the week I 'gaduh' with that person. The devastating moment keep piling in. As they say, 'Misery Loves Company'... Whoever feeling miserable akan selalu menarik org lain utk rasa miserable juga~

Akak aku dlu pernah ckp, "Ann, lepas ko jd ckgu kan... ayat2 ko skang sgt kurang ajar" Her words really being keep deep in my heart. Mama pn slalu tegur "Mulut tu cuba jaga skit... asyik menyumpah2 org je..." Dan aku pn perasan... lps jd ckgu, aku mmg sgt kurang ajar, sgt kegedikkan yg melampau, ske kepoh psal org lain, slalu menyusahkan org lain, mengumpat secara non-stop, slalu banding2kan orang... what the hell is happening to me? Hati ini terasa menjadi sgt hina... Bila agaknya jiwa ini boleh jd suci sepanjang masa~??

But, as I realized about it at this moment. I should start to change myself now... Aku bertekad taknak aibkan org lg, taknak dgr ttg keaiban org juga. Mulut yang 'kotor' ni perlu disucikan kembali... Even though perubahan tu memerlukan masa... aku takleh senang give up. Bak kata En. Azrin, yg penting dlm kebaikan adalah istiqamah, supaya dapat melatih diri sentiasa melakukan kebaikan... lgpn, Sabar tu mmg kunci segala jawapan. Kenape org selalu kata "sabar itu sebahagian daripada Iman?" ... sbb kesabaran adalah kemuliaan dan org2 yg penyabar semmgnya org2 yg mulia.

Seperti lirik lagu YUI: Rain "Like how heavy rain can change into soft snow, this heavy feelings can be softer too..."

Get It Right

2011-08-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

Have u ever wonder, what is the right thing to do?

ku sentiasa terfikir cara terbaik untuk selesaikan masalah. If this the right way? What will they think? How would he think? Will anyone get offended? Semua persoalan ini akan sentiasa berlegar2 di minda sebelum sesuatu keputusan dibuat. Akhirnya, tanpa fikirkan jawapan utk setiap persoalan, aku akan buat je... lantak aa ape yg akan berlaku. Yang penting, niat aku adalah baik... insyaAllah~

In the end, dia dtg blk. dia berborak balik. dia senyum balik. Tak kesah senyum palsu ke tak... sbb kalau dia senyum, org lain akan ikut senyum... tu yg penting. Spreading oneself kindness~

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight". The only right thing to do is to smile honestly. So let's smile (^_^)

UnEasy

2011-08-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

It's the 3rd morning... everytime I wake up, the uneasy feelings keep coming back. Did I dream about something bad... or is it still because of him?

Everytime I tried to remember the things that I have done, I cried. Nampaknye, aku mmg senang terasa hati... Aku tak setabah mane pn... I really hate the feelings of losing a friend. Kenape manusia mesti selalu bw diri jauh2...? Saje ske tinggalkan aku sorg2...?

The moment before it happened, aku solat tarawikh kt Masjid Kolam Air. Dalam ketika semua org buat solat Witir, aku buat solat Istikarah... dgn niat nk buat witir kt rumah, walaupn biasanya gone kpd tido.... hihi. Dalam solat tu, aku terdoa agar Allah sucikan hatinya, muliakan dirinya. And I guess, Allah benar2 makbulkan doa hambanya di bulan Ramadhan and now I do believe with the saying "be careful with what u wished for". If it really gonna happens for good, ini bende baik... kan?

Aku dah merasai kehilangan 3 orang kwn baik secara emotionally, where I have been deeply hurt. Bukan meninggal dunia ye... itu sorg je skang ni, Arwah Azmi Bin Muhammad Nor (Al-fatihah utknya)... So, can I save this 4th friendship? I dun wanna lose anyone anymore... Ya Allah, bantulah sekian hamba-hambamu ini~

The Hardest Words

2011-08-04T02:36:00.000-07:00

Dedicated from me especially to you

Feeling the guilt,
of not knowing what to do,
I cried bitterly last night
Thinking of a person that I'd hurt
The person that I should be caring the most

I tried to act naturally
Hopefully these feelings will go away
'Time will heals'
I want to hold on to that knowledge
But it wouldn't work that way, will it?

There's a lot of things I want to say,
In front of your eyes, truthfully
In a casual conversation each and everyday
But in the end,
Even though I know words aren't enough
From the bottom of my broken heart
"I am trully sorry"

Jiwa Kacau...

2011-08-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

Sy mempunyai seorg sepupu perempuan yg sgt hebat. Dia merupakan pelajar terbaik STF tahun... tak ingat tp tua azli sethn... so lahir tahun 1979. kira sendiri laa SPM dia tahun bila eik... haha. tu tak penting. yg penting dia adalah Pelajar Terbaik STF... SEKOLAH TERBAIK di MSIA PADA TAKAT INI...

Then, dia blaja2 semua disponsor...bla2... smpi dia dpt kerja super power. Manager Telekom Malaysia yg bergaji super $$$$$. Dia merupakan seorang gadis kampung yang sentiasa dibantu oleh pelbagai pihak utk sampai ke tahap yg sungguh membanggakan.

Dia telah berkahwin 6 thn lepas kot, dengan seorang lelaki yg pada aku agak ensem, dan baik, dan beriman.... namun, setelah mendapat 2 org cahaya mata, dia telah mengambil keputusan utk meletakkan jawatannya yang sungguh berharga $$$$$ tu.... kesahnya telah membuatkan satu kampung Pt Marjunid kecoh.... semua org2 yg telah bersusah payah menolong dia belajar smpi super tinggi telah terasa hati~~

I am in her situation now. I want to get married, have kids, and have a beautiful family life ahead. I am thinking, I'm 25 now. If I want to have kids, it's should be within this age. I want to grow old, looking at them getting their degree or just be happy with their kids, or my grandkids....

(berckp psal kids... nanti aku nk citer satu kesah psal aku hampir2 nk amik sorg budak comel ni sbg anak angkat, tp telah diketawakan oleh mereka2... so aku tak amik dia... tp dia sgt sweet giler~~~)

But seeing my parents to go beyond their limits and edge just to make sure I can continue studying my PhD in Astronomy, making my heart feeling numb. I dunno how to react. I used to ask my sister, "Ape jd kalo tiba2 aku tak g PhD sbb aku nk kawen... ko rasa camne?" and my sister's answer struck me until now, "Ko giler ke ape? Mama dgn papa susah payah naik turun batu pahat... rendahkan diri utk call semua org supaya tolong ko... senang2 ko nk ikut hati ko je utk lepaskan." Even when I am writing this, my tears can't stop flowing down my cheeks.

I am really in super debt with my parents. Aku dh byk susahkan mama dgn papa. Mama pula byk kali minta maaf masa dulu2 tgk aku kerja cikgu ni mcm sgt byk dan terseksa... Aku leh dikategorikan anak derhaka gak ni.... Mama dgn Papa, Ann minta maaf sgt2 sbb tak pernah senangkan hati Mama dgn Papa

I'm lovin it...

2011-07-31T02:05:00.000-07:00

Aku dah blaja dgn byknye sblm masuk kelas Nucleus, tajuk: Mass Spectrometer....

okies, first lukis perjalanan ions sebesar papan putih kt kelas... then, tiap2 section akan ada nota sendiri2 biar semua senang faham....

Okies, masuk kepada soalan drp Matriculation;
perrgghhh... aku gaduh dgn students psal velocity selector.. arah mane daya magnet dia menular... aku stress... budak akan stress bila nmpk aku stress. that's the dangerous of being a teacher. U r the only captain of the ship called class. If u dunno which way to go, they will wonder around with you. Only u can decide to move according to the wind or just sink down to the bottom of the sea..

At this moment, the ship dah bocor... in a few moments, this whole class will sink. I had no idea how to fix it. Some of the students already told me the useful method, but due to my selfishness and my high ego, I dun want to listen to them. I am at wrong. Until now, I am at wrong and I regret for not listening to my students.
And the ship sank.

I'm having the most difficult time of the year... STPM is getting nearer. I should be burning my midnight oil together with them. I need to guide them. I need to calm them. I need to teach them. I need to keep their motivation on without decelerating. I need to hold them when they are feeling down. But I'm the one who is at lost. I have no idea on how to love them. I need to be brave, be strong, be knowlegable, be firm to keep them going.... but InsyaAllah everything will be fine =)

Am I loving you right?

2011-07-30T17:57:00.000-07:00

When I prepared myself with every careful word, to have a normal conservation with you... but when we meet, nothing can come out right~

When I was angry with whatever u did to me... I am still speechless everytime I look into ur eyes~

When I want to free myself from u... that is when I cannot stop thinking of u~

When I decide to keep my distance from u... I would still come close to you everytime u're calling my name~

So, am I madly in love with u?

Even though this feeling is frustrating, but I started to like it.
Maybe someday, after a few years, we'll laugh about this frustrating moment... together

Staying

2011-07-26T04:13:00.001-07:00

Karya ini pula terhasil ketika daku sdg stress dipaksa utk sambung belajar oleh ibu dan ayah~

This tempting way,
with this tempting heart,
I could feel the cold breeze,
through my cheek, flying off my small muffler,
This mind is set,
but why thus this heart still flutters?

Looking at this lonely road,
Enchanted by the mist of romance,
But my heart keep on pounding,
about the love within this air,
"I want to stay here forever!"
why can't I just shout it out loud?
Maybe I am still a scaredy kid...

(dap dup) VVVvvv______

2011-07-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Before this feeling fades away like any other feelings, I want to blog this to give me the reminder of this feeling....

If there is a knock on the door of my heart, how am I suppose to answer it?
I have a lot experience of love, but I have very less experience of being loved. And I have zero experience of dating. This confusion, in my thought is one of the strong feelings that I want to remember. And my heart would not stop trembling this fast....

I can still feel the chill of the question that I need the answer rite away to take me far from this confusion, but I shouldn't be that selfish. So, how should I answer the knocking on the door of my heart? Should I open it with a smile, should I wait for someone to just crash the door, or should I just ignore the knocking? adesss~~~~

*So korg, sila jgn minta nasihat ttg perkara2 ini sbb sy mmg tak tau ape2~~

Happy 1st Anniversary

2011-07-18T03:49:00.000-07:00

Pejam celik, pejam celik.... dah setahun daku memulakan pekerjaan sebagai seorang pembakar lilin demi menerangi orang lain... CIKGU

Masa awal2 jd ckgu, the reality was really super different that what I had imagine. Stupid imagination! Sepatutnye, ditugaskan menjadi seorang guru chemistry.... tp ntah mcm mane, takdir yg tertulis di Luh Mahfuz, mengajar FIZIK STPM sbb xde ckgu langsung ajar.

At first seronok. Fizik pn cinta pertamaku~ *ahaks. tp lama kelamaan, tanpa guidance dan tunjuk ajar, aku nangis tiap2 mlm. tak tahan... the subject was easy, but to teach is one very difficult thing. I always thought, why the hell the students would not just listen to me. Physics is not that difficult....

But as time goes by, I learn that teaching is one of the most amazing thing that could happen to my life. Students are still kids, no matter at what age they are. It is the perfect time for them to experience things, learn the hard way of living and learn the beautiful relationships they can have with each other. Coming to SSI, getting close to the teachers and other staffs, were also one of the best thing that I had ever experience. Getting to know is easy, but as time goes by, the love blossom.

Kenangan:

1st
ajar tingkatan 6 atas... super susah, sbb diorg super pandai... tp batch2 Jia Jun sgt sopan dan mendengar kata. Nway, they are my 1st students =)

2nd:
Jd Jurulatih Olympiad Sek Ren Peringkat Kebangsaan dalam bidang Fizik. Seminggu di Melaka, melatih budak2 genius msia yg br darjah 6. Super genius, super aktif... mengingatkan kisah silam kenapa aku tak ske bdak2 dlu... haha

3rd:
lemparan air panas oleh Kak Rossa. Super pedih giler.... smpi masak kulit kt kepala. haha. dan tanpa disedari menangis teresak2 tanpa diduga... smpi skang parut dia ada lg ni~

4th:
Di tempat yang sama dgn lemparan air panas, kene hentam raket badminton dgn En Zamri... pergh, super berdenyut kepala time tu... lebam dgn parut X jelas giler... masa tu dah pk, SSI mmg tak ske diriku ini~

5th:
Jamuan akhir tahun SSI. 1st time main volleyball dgn semua ckgu2 laki. time dgn nik n the geng dlu tak kesah langsung main... tp skang patutnye rs segan men dgn ckgu laki.... tp keseronokan main tu mengatasi segalanya. haha. But I'm glad I played with them, sbb lepas tu, diri ini semakin rapat dengan ckgu2 lain~

6th:
Pra kemenangan F1 kt UTP. 1st time pegang F1, 1st time gak naik pentas sbb menang. Tgk kanak2 berusaha membanting tulang menyiapkan folio2 F1, mmg mengagumkan. I realize that school is the only placed for kids to have fun with each other =)

7th:
dh kot... byk sgt rasanya dah ni.... hehe.

Dlu ada org pernah kata: "Ann ni tak sesuai jd ckgu sbb dia baik sgt..." And at some moment, I did think that I am so not suitable for this job. I have no idea how to be angry or get mad with anything.... If I want to survive with teaching, I need to learn to be fierce and firm. But, adaptation is based on one's perception. I should not run away. If I am really fated to leave this job, I wanna leave in a macho style. In conclusion, I am really glad I took this job =)

UTP F1 Cup 2011

Rentetan Dari Nisfu Sya’ban

2011-07-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

Ini adalah ulasan dari kuliah magrib pada malam ini oleh Al Fadhil Ustaz Hanafiah dari Jabatan Agama Islam Johor.

Sedikit ilmu berkisar kepada Israq & Mikraj dan Malam Nisfu Sya’ban. Selepas dari peristiwa Israq & Mikraj yang berlaku pada 27 Rejab, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w telah menerima perintah untuk mewajibkan umatnya melaksanakan solat lima waktu. Sejak dari malam 27 Rejab itu, baginda telah memaksimakan amalan baginda kepada Allah s.w.t dengan mengerjakan ibadah solat sunat dan berdoa sehingga lewat pagi untuk memohon kepada Allah mengampunkan dosa umatnya iaitu umat akhir zaman yang diketahuinya terdapat banyak permasalahan dunia.

Sehinggalah pada pada malam 14 Sya’ban, Allah s.w.t telah memerintahkan Jibrail turun ke dunia dan berjumpa dengan Nabi Muhammad s.a.w untuk menyampaikan perintah Allah s.w.t untuk memberi baginda 2/3 kuasa iaitu memberi syafaat kepada umat baginda. Seterusnya pada malam 15 Sya’ban malaikat Jibrail sekali lagi turut ke dunia bertemu Nabi Muhammad s.a.w untuk menyampaikan perintah Allah s.w.t iaitu diberikan 1/3 lagi kuasa untuk memberi syafaat kepada umat baginda di hari perhitungan di Padang Mashyar nanti.

Jadi pada malam 14 Sya’ban juga dikenali dengan Nisfu Sya’ban dimana Allah s.w.t telah memberi kuasa penuh kepada Nabi Muhammad boleh memberi syafaat kepada umat akhir zaman. Oleh itu seeloknya kita dapat meningkatkan amalan kita kepada Allah s.w.t pada tiga hari tersebut iaitu 14,15 & 16 Sya’ban dengan berpuasa sunat. Berselawatlah kita kepada nabi kita Nabi Muhammad, mudah-mudahan kita beroleh syafaat di hari perhitungan kelak.

Fallen

2011-07-16T06:03:00.000-07:00

1st:
Someone from Kolej Mara Banting. I used to study in an all-girl-school before I came to KMB. I had a little knowledge of love. I really enjoyed 'usha-ing' people from afar. Watching their every move. Watching their kindness and naughty side. I gain a lot of knowledge about people's interaction. I was really addicted to stalking people. I also learn that by watching, u'll learn to love. So as time goes by, I'd fallen too deep for him. He is one of a kind. He's generousity and warmness had melted my heart. This... lasted for 5 years.

2nd:
I came close to him due to study and work. From my 2nd year, we had a lot in common. He was smart, intelligent and kind as well. He was also.... one of a kind. We really had the chemistry. Before I realized it, I was falling for my best friend and it was unlucky. We can chat casually about our lives and things that interest both of us. But, we cannot even utter a word to have a talk about anything emotional. Because of that, the journey that did not even have a start, had ended. And I know the reason was... we weren't meant to be together. org kata "dah takde jodoh"

3rd:
*secret* =p

Well, let the mysterious be more complicated, or else life would be too boring to live in =))

Hong Kong for the weekends...

2011-07-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Mengikut kegilaan kerja linda... kami telah menjejakkan kaki ke Hong Kong demi menonton konsert YUI-san! keje sungguh gila, tp sgt best. Nway, we need distractions for a few moments in our lives, to really appreciate what's precious in front of us.

Can I just tell you something?

2011-07-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

I always thought, “This is why I’m single: I’m too much for anyone to love. I have this issue and this issue, oh, and 3 years from now I’ll figure out I also have this issue, too.” And it becomes your identifier. You’re the single person who thinks there’s no one out there to love. Or be loved by. But then for a time, you stop thinking it’s you. So you date and you realize every guy you meet is just worse than the one before. And you get wrapped up in this world of “this is why I’m single.” It’s me. But it’s also them. And this is why I’m single.

And then one night you meet someone. And they’re fantastic. And over time, they come to learn all of your issues. And you learn theirs. But for some reason, they don’t matter. Your trust issue disappears because you trust them. Your intimacy issue disappears because you love being intimate with them. Your other issues slowly disappear because your issues are no longer an issue.

And you realize, “This is why I was single. I was waiting to meet them.”

Really. It happens. So hang in there.

Spreading Kindness

2011-07-09T17:49:00.001-07:00

"The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today."

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have been changed for good

2011-06-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…
~Glee : for good~

I've met a person. He may not be an amazing person, but he did left a deep impression inside of me. He brings back the passion and feelings that I'd lost all this time. Astrophysics.

He may not realize this, but I got back on track of what I have been believed in because to him. As people always say "sape mkn cili, dia terasa pedas". hehe. If he is reading this right now, u may not feel the 'pedas' but you may feel the warmth inside of you. What I want to say is, thank you for coming into my life at the right moment. I'm really really glad that I met you. Again, thank you~

Fight-oh !

2011-06-02T15:25:00.000-07:00

My depression period ended a little. After a full night out, eating, thinking, shopping, thinking, walking, thinking, driving, thinking and fall into a deep sleep. But throughout the whole depression period, I had friends supported me. I knew I was never alone in this world.

I hate myself for hurting my mum, my dad, my sis and the ones who are always close to me. They are the most amazing people I ever known. I will always looked up to them. I always envy and wishing I could be as strong and matured as them. But I am my own person. Maybe not this time, and maybe not tomorrow either... but someday I have to obligate and pay them back the kindness that they showered me in a time of need.

and YUI's song never failed to fill and strengthen back my spirit. Listening to her voice makes me want to continue living in a meaningful life of mine and others as well. My main goal of life is to become the superman, wanting to always help others. Even though my main interest will always be astronomi....

Dream Crushed...!!!

2011-06-02T04:50:00.000-07:00

Confirmed. KPM will never let me go... I'm breaking up rite now... But after some deep thinking, i realized. I used to say that being an astronomer is suppose to be a life-long journey and battle... so, I shouldn't give up now... right?
=)

Am I here?

2011-06-01T02:48:00.000-07:00

Lawatan Ilmiah ke Malaysia Airlines, daripada kelab F1

OMG, this would be my first and last lawatan I'll ever conduct in my entire life. the list of the unfortunate events...
1) Aircon bas rosak selepas 30 minit perjalanan bermula dari sekolah
2) bdak2 laki seramai 26 org dan perempuan hanya 6 org... keadaaan mula panas, bdak2 laki mula membuka baju di dalam bas....
3) seorang kanak2 muda jatuh pengsan di malaysia airlines dan di hospitalized selama 2 jam... guru2 yg terlibat dan ketua rombongan (aku) cuak habis2an~~
4) 5 minit bermula perjalanan pulang, bas rosak di tgh jln.... apekah????
5) parents keep on calling me asking about their kids.... haish~

Even though I lose hope and gave up many times before, I'm still glad that I organized this quite unusual trip for the kids and for myself as well.

That's the bad thing about it. I'm announcing, I received an offer letter of scholarship from USM to further my study for PhD in Astronomy. And I also received letter of acceptance from Uni Of Nottingham to further my study there in UK again. But for a condition that KPM will let me go....

This is my dream job, I want to be an astronomer my whole life... I'm getting my dream to be alive.... but yet... I started to love learning about human relationships. How human can hurt and heal each others feelings. How they argue and reconcile again. How that they managed to be with the ones they hate and eventually they cannot live without each other... I always watched the drama about all of this so-called "nonsense". but by mixing with people, I learned that relationship is a wide mystery. And I'm started to love in learning about human interactions.... So what whould I do? Quit my teaching job and be an astronomer??? please, someone just tell me what to do~!!!

Blending In...

2011-05-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

Being a teacher is a good job. I love being around kids, learning from them as teaching them about life and how difficult it would be as they growing up. But the main cause of headache are the paperworks. Fail panitia, laporan post-motem, buku rekod kehadiran, laporan aktiviti mingguan, minit mesyuarat, buku P&P, kertas kerja F1, Laporan Water Rocket, senarai buku latihan.... and the list goes on and on.

I'm using my method of "no comment" for every single comment I got from them. I really hope my patience will overflow. I need it to be overflow. Please....

Maturing....

2011-05-02T00:49:00.000-07:00

There will be times when I was so close to him yet we are so far apart. We only been apart for less than a year but... He grew up, being a matured adult and a much better person than I am.
What is this feeling inside of me?
am I jealous?
or am I sad because I can't read his feelings anymore?
The sayings "we realise things are precious once they are lost" have its own truth. Our friendship is slipping away and yet only after meeting him again that I realised.
I hate this! Maturing is a pain in the ass.

Wake up call...

2011-04-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

Do Not
Undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different, that each of us is special.

Do Not...
Set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you..

Do Not...
Take for granted the things closest to your heart
Cling to them as you would your life for without them life is meaningless.

Do Not...
Let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Do Not...
Give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Do Not...
Be afraid to encounter risks
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Do Not...
Shut love out your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.

Do Not...
Dismiss your dreams
To be without dreams is to be without hope
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do Not...
Run through life so fast that you forget
not only where you have been but also where you are going.

The song of Goodbye

2010-11-18T18:40:00.000-08:00

Life is never definite
As long as we still strive for the best, eventually time will lead the way.
Living is amazing

Puppy Luv?

2010-11-12T07:47:00.000-08:00

Colour can detemine your mood and stress?

2010-11-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

ann's Existing Situation
Seeks to share a bond of understanding intimacy in an esthetic atmosphere of peace and tenderness.

ann's Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that she may miss her share of experiences if she fails to make the best use of every opportunity. She therefore pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity and commits herself deeply and readily. Feels herself to be completely competent in any field in which she engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.

ann's Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she is burdened with more than her fair share of problems. However, she sticks to her goals and tries to overcome her difficulties by being flexible and accommodating.
Circumstances force her to compromise and to forgo some pleasures for the time being. Capable of achieving physical satisfaction from sexual activity.

ann's Desired Objective
Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermining others' confidence in herself.

ann's Actual Problem
The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

ann's Actual Problem #2
Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts.

dah lame....

2010-11-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

ku rindu blogging tiba2. a lot of things had happen. from a childish me who always dream big and ended up at the same place but with different attitude. I'm still looking forward for the underestimate future. I will still believe that the wind will always be different from yesterday. The feelings should be differ as well =]

It's all too much

2009-09-07T15:12:00.000-07:00

The night is turning into a shade of cobalt
The chilly star studded sky is glimmering
There’s no need for words of any sort

Rather than trying to uncover the truth concealed behind tears
I’m better off with baseless predictions
Sitting on the bench where the lights have already gone out
And gazing up
It was a shooting star with only idealities surfacing

Nee! Would someone enlighten me
If I were to live life as it is simply
I would gather all the miracles dispersed throughout the universe
And try overcoming them
All because these emotions which are pulsing throughout my body
Are dictating me
This wouldn’t do
Am I right?

Being as decisive as cast dice
And not ever having regrets
I hope to move onward to the next destination
The rule book which was created uncertainly
Only timidity appeared later
I continue watching the backs of my rivals
That,
As naked as the moonlight
Was a shooting star which strayed from a pure heart

Nee! Would someone enlighten me
To live life as it is simply
Innocence does not suffice
You can’t escape from conflicts too
Those lessons which I have learnt time after time
Are definitely dictating me
What should I do
It’s a lie isn’t it?

Simply daydreaming
Will not get me anywhere
It also can’t make me more pleasant
I wonder why?

… It’s all too much

Nee! Would someone enlighten me
In order to live life as it is simply
I want to change even the toughest obstacles facing me into something humorous
And then laugh it off
Because there is no way to resolve it
It is buried within everyday life

That is why I wish to believe
Miracles do exist don’t they?
Am I right?

Credit : YUI

Perseid Shower

2009-08-12T06:19:00.000-07:00

Peak hours, dlm kul 10 mlm pd 12 August 2009, rabu. Diorg ckp leh nmpk around 200 shower per hour, kt tmpt2 kg, yg tak byk pencemaran chy. Kt maktab jb ni, of cos takkan nampak. Tp jap lg nk try tgk, skang still kul 9.30pm lg. hehe

Swine Flu vs Denggi

2009-08-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

Jejak je kaki kt airport, nmpk rmai super pkai topeng2 kesihatan tu. Then, g buka akaun bsn, pekerja2 dier sumer pkai topeng tu smpi takleh dgr ape yg diorg ckp. hehe. Masuk2 maktab, 13 org dihantar ke hosp sbb demam n selesema, sorg dah dikonfirmkan dpt swine flu. Pensyarah2 kt sni sumer agak cuak ngan kitorg yg baru balik dr negara2 aktif swine flu ni.

Then aku dgr seorg penguatkuasa bhgn farmasi bercerita.

Swine Flu, asal dr mexico, kene pada org2 putih. Org2 putih ni org2 yg agak berada. Taminflu, kira cam ubat utk pulihkan swine flu ni mahal gediks super. Kat malaysia hanya akan diberikan pada org yg btul2 confirm kene jek. Mana2 yg di syaki terpaksa di quarantin je dlu. Akibatnyer, dah dlm 5 org meninggal dunia. Kt UK, taminflu tu dah dpt dibagi kt pesakit2 yg disyaki teruk swine flu. disyaki ok. Kt US lak, vaccine dier yg aku rasa sykt GlaxoSmith yg hasilkan dah diberi pd 1/3 rakyat2 dier.

Denggi. Dah berapa dekad ntah penyakit ni ader, smpi skang takde ubat dier. Vaccine pn mmg susah aa nk ckp. Dunia tak amik tau langsung. Tak kecoh langsung. Kadar kematian denggi lebih byk dr swine flu. Tp disebabkan negara2 yg vito ni yg terlibat, research department terus lumba2 nk cr vaccine and medicine utk swine flu. Denggi lak, ape citer? Research2 uni kt msia, ape citer2? hosp uni kt msia, ape citer? asyik tunggu vaccine dr negara vito ni, smpi bila kita nk duk bwh ketiak diorg? at least wat aa cam pertandingan ke, sape dpt hasilkan vaccine denggi dlm masa 3 thn, uni dier dpt peruntukan rm 10 juta. haha. tp, ckp mmg senang, aku sbg rakyat biasa leh bg cadangan je aa. hehe.

Kesimpulannya mari mendoakan mereka yg terlibat agar sentiasa dipelihara Allah di dunia dan di akhirat. Ameen.

Scorpius

2009-08-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

I look up onto the sky. Spica as always, terang seterang2nyer. rasanyer sbb terang spica tu laa hilang bentuk Virgo. Due south-west of the Moon, jelas kelihatan bintang Antares (Alpha Scorpius). Bila tekun tgk Antares tu, satu per satu bintang2 kecik keliling dier muncul. Akhirnya, dpt laa tgk zodiak Scorpius. Tgk kt gambar nmpk comel, skali nmpk real, giler besar gabak.

Then cari laa bintang femes arah kiblat (zodiak Orion). Eih takde. Hmm. then search starmap tenet. mmg takkan kluar rupanyer. Cerita sebenar wujudnya Scorpius, rupanyer ader kene mengena ngan Orion. Gaia, the everlasting foundation of the gods of Olympus arahkan seekor scorpion utk serang the mighty hunter, Orion sbb orion dah byk bunuh binatang kt bumi. But Scorpius tak pernah dpt bunuh Orion sbb Scorpius 'diletakkan' di langit timur supaya Scorpius would only rise in the east after Orion had safely disappeared over the western horizon. Kesimpulannya, Orion akan sentiasa lari dr Scorpius yg duk kejar dier dah brape abad ntah smpi kiamat rasanyer. Haha.

The pelik thing is, kt setiap kala jengking, scorpius ni ader penyengat dier yg diwakili oleh 2 bintang kt ekor dier iaitu lambda and upsilon. Arab zaman dulu2 dah namakan dua2 bintang ni 'The Sting' bersesuaian ngan nama scorpius dier. Haha. kebetulan ke tak? Ader reason gak Allah bg ilham kt org2 greek supaya namakan zodiak tu Scorpius. Hikmahnyer akan sentiasa berterusan smpi bila2

Graduation Summer 2009

2009-07-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

Finally, but again, as all may say... THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

So, from baby steps, I'm moving on to toddler's running and falling. And keep wondering, when will I fly like superman. Wanting to always be good to others. And also the needing of tears and crush. All of this is to become my-better-self

No Boundary

2009-07-07T15:38:00.000-07:00

No boundary. A beautiful song sang by the latest American Idol, Kris Allen.

"There is no boundary for universe as there is no 'other' side of the universe that we can look into," Prof Copeland once said in one of his brilliant lecture for Cosmology.

I was reading tafsir Quran for surah titled 'the stars' just to search for any knowledge on the universe and I came across this verse (Al-Najm 53:17)

"Penglihatannya (Muhammad) tidak berpaling dari yg dilihatnya itu dan tidak (pula) melampauinya"

My mind is full with astronomy right now. After finished watching the national geographic video on 'Journey to the End of the Universe,' I felt ashamed of myself for losing my faith in this dream that Allah have gave especially to me. I recovered my passion in astronomy. And I will always pray that I won't loose this passion ever again.

Halal beers

2009-06-10T01:33:00.001-07:00

I came across this drink when I was watching akhbar youtube. Someone commented that there is the so-called 'halal beer' made from barley malt... bla3... me n my friends were a little shock. Then both of us went dining in one of halal restaurant in UK and there, again, we came across this so-called 'halal beer'. Non-alcoholic red & white wines, and also beers. Curiosity almost got us. We just an inch away from drinking those drinks. But Allah will and always protect us. That's the power of my believe.

Later at home, my mind wouldn't get off this so-called 'halal beer'. Google, the cheapest, easiest source of information. 672,000 google hits for halal beer. Most of muslim forums are still discussing about this matter. But most of the non-muslim websites are promoting this so-called 'halal beer' (eg: time.com, theasiannews.co.uk, news24.com)

I joined the muslimgirls livejournal group and address this matter for discussion. Some answers really hit me:

"just my opinion, but you would think that since it is haram to drink alcohol, even drinking non-alcoholic drinks that are made to look like alcoholic drinks would be haram too, even if no alcohol is ingested. it's the act in general. why model something after a haram act? why would you want to be seen drinking a non-alcoholic drink, when it would be haram if you were really drinking the alcoholic version. but i really don't know what the answer would be! i hope someone can help you" credit: goldseas

There are some acts towards this so-called 'halal beer'. I admit I have a shallow knowledge about this but I am still and want to learn more about this.

Awake

2009-05-31T10:48:00.000-07:00

Morning Coffee, Penyeri Hari

Please, dun be like them...

2009-05-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

The Dirty Little Secret about undergraduate students =p

Stress 1;

Stress 2;

Stress 3;

Stress 4;

Stress 5;

Sress 6;

Theory of nothing.

2009-05-25T01:42:00.000-07:00

The evidence of black hole at my zodiac ~sagittarius~
The white dots are stars orbiting the huge mass at center of Milky Way. After 10 years of observation, the sudden high speed of star while orbiting confirmed the location of the black hole, within my zodiac. hehe

Conservation of energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. But based on big bang, something created from nothing. This nothing must be dense with energy for it to have all of the energy in the universe now after the big bang. So, what is the theory of nothing? One absolute answer.
Allah.

This is one reason why I love astrophysics.

Watch this movie. Superb. mmg angels n demons kalah aa

Sora

2009-05-10T02:42:00.000-07:00

pardon for the inbalance colour used. My camera hp bukan slr~

Who says English is easy?

2009-04-29T10:35:00.001-07:00

Fill in the following blank with either 'YES' or 'NO'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"____, I am a cow"

So, can you get the right answer?
=p

Psychology Fraud

2009-04-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

Larkin JB : UFO sight-seeing

http://zamriz.blogspot.com/

haha.... nk percaya ke tak? kalo ikut ape yg aku blaja slama bebrapa tahun, bende ijau2 tu... Ferrous sulfate. ke cahaya luminol?
ekekekek

edit: ok2. tak tau laa ni valid ke tak? tp jumpa kt fb http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1783324&id=674918545&ref=nf#/photo.php?pid=1783328&id=674918545&ref=nf

bende ijau atas tu adalah saturn

WordPlay

2009-04-16T01:18:00.000-07:00

Please don't give me any more hope,
I might be wanting for more,
I got tired of waiting,
But I still wouldn't let go,
Not this time, not yet.

Something is piercing my chest,
It's been days and I'm still hurting,
What kind of feeling is this?
I don't want any of it,
I can't breathe,
Please, someone, save me,
I am drowning in my own feelings.

Sprinkling the salt into my wound,
Are you deepening my scar?
Time will always heals,
But I am patient no more,
I just want to chase away this pain,
At this time, at this moment, Right now.

haha...aku nk bandingkan ke-emo-an aku ngan emo yui.
Sama tak?

Welcome Pain

2009-04-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

I am supposed to pursue my dream
in this narrow winding road, stuttering in the crowds of people

It's not that I want to return to that past,
I am just searching for the sky I have lost.
I hope you understand.
Don't show the sad face as if you have been sacrificed.

Tears do not end a sin. We have to carry it with us through
in this maze of feelings with no ends in sight.
Who am I waiting for?
As scribbled on the blank note, I want to be more honest.
What do I want to escape from?
Is it this thing called "reality"?

"For what am I living?"
In the middle of the night as my memories are fading.
I can't play safe anymore,
but there is nowhere to go too.
There's still so much in life to remove this feeling.
I will feel nostalgic about it.
I welcome this pain.

Yui -again-
credit : depyon

Cute really. Especially when you realized how close your situation now with these lyrics.
I had lost my sky (hope) before. I wanted to give up and play safe but there is nowhere for me to go. And I'm still resisting to let go. This little dream I have is still keep on pushing me from behind. If I lose it, there's nothing left to push me ahead.

Jumper -yes man-

2009-03-10T01:06:00.000-07:00



Fmaj7               C                   G
 I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend

Fmaj7               C              G
 You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in, A-and

Fmaj7                C         G
If you do not want to see me again I would understand


G             Am      C      G
I would Under-sta---i-a---i-and

G             Am      C      G
I would under-sta---i-a---i-and

Am( hold )
The angry boy, a bit too insane,

C( hold )
icing over a secret pain,

G
You know you dont belong,


   Am                                D9sus2
Well everyone I know has got a reason, to say, put the past away

-----------

Fmaj7               C                   G
 I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend


Fmaj7               C                   G
 You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been livin in, A-and

Fmaj7                C          G
if you do not want to see me again


G             Am      C      G
I would Under-sta---i-a---i-and

G             Am      C      G
I would under-sta---i-a---i-and

Ordinary Miracles

2009-03-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

The famous "ant nebulae"

remember "Ultraman 7 stars?" - here is the "Seven Sisters"

Surat ar-Rahman (chapter 55), "When the sky is torn apart, so it was (like) a red rose, like ointment."

and my latest SkyWatcher Explorer Reflector 200P EQ5

How Galaxy Works

2009-03-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

redshift
The expansion of the universe means that light travelling towards us will have its wavelength stretched along with the universe.

be drift by the wonders of the universe~

tag2 kawen?

2009-03-01T09:28:00.001-08:00

1. How old are you?

–> 22 (not a girl not yet a woman)

2.Are you single?

–> yup n available =]

3. At what age do you think you’ll get married?

–> 25 insyaAllah. Mudah2an dipermudahkan~

4. Do you think you’ll marrying the person you are with now?

–> might be. might not be. who knows

5. If not, who do you want to marry?

–> Satoshi Ohno ^x^

6. Who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?

–> my sis kot... then, my cousins? haha... tgk laa saper avaliable n takleh lg cun dr aku pd ari itu... =p

7. Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?

–>garden... tp byk nyamuk... hahaha.... or kt ballroom hotel ke... ekekekek

8. Where do you plan to go on honeymoon?

–> winter sonata~ ahaks

9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite?

–> everybody who knows me.

10.Will that include your exes?

–> masuk kot... huhu.. kalo sudi dtg aa

11.How many layers of cake do you want?

–> nk satu layer jek... tp khas utk me n my future husband je leh mkn... ekekekek

12.When do you want to get married, morning or evening?

–> Nikah friday morning kt masjid abu bakar, jb... lawa tmpt tu~

13.Name the song/tune you’d like to play at your wedding.

–> lagu kawen melayu, cina, hindustan, omputih n jepun(arashi-one love, yuna ito - precious)

jiwang~~

14.Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork?knife?

–> pki tgn aa~ ikot sunnah nabi (bak kata kirin)

15.Champagne or red wine?

–> sirap limau je leh tak? haha

16.Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?

–> kalo leh right after~

17.Money or household items?

–> money =p

18.How many kids would you like to have?

–> kalo leh nk 5... tp ikut rezeki Allah sediakan

19.Will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?

–> wajib. haha

20. Whose wedding plan would you like to know next?

–> hmmm.... lang (semestinya), pi'e sudi ke? haha...

Goodbye Winter

2009-02-14T11:58:00.000-08:00

Recap~

1st night

2nd day : behind my room

again, behind my room

Neo di belakang berusaha membuat snowman

hasil masterpiece Neo

Sebesar aku~

Rookies

2009-02-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

I had been watching Japanese Drama Rookies, superb.

I had to admit, I'm in the middle of self-destruction as once in a while, I've been thinking about giving up my own dream. After watching Rookies, somehow, I regain my passion again. But then, the reality came. The world are just too difficult. It's not as easy as it seems. I know, patience is virtue, but I can't help this feeling of losing.

"Everyone has equal rights to dream"
"If you dare to pull out your courage, you can change"
"Reflection is needed, but clinging to your past mistake is foolish"

I love these motivational words from Rookies.
Seriously, Rookies is very recommended!!!

The Mystery Roar

2009-01-23T05:45:00.000-08:00

Early this month, Nasa' Columbia Scientific Balloon facilities detected the mystery roar/boom from far away space of the expanding universe. Universe isn't as quite as one has expected. The roar might come from some unknown galaxies merging in the outer space and guess what, astronomers had predicted our very own milky way is expected to merge with andromeda or any nearest galaxies.

Haha. Dun worry, Milky way has been evolving and growing by cannibalizing some small nearby galaxies. We are welcoming our planet neighbours even though we had lost the one that closest to us. We miss you Pluto~ the Magellanic Clouds, one of our own satellite galaxies kept on coming close and further with us.

Galaxy merging~

Best Friend ~kiroro~

2009-01-22T04:39:00.000-08:00

I don't have to worry anymore, cause you will be by my side when I cry
You always smile at me
I am blessed because you always shine before me
Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend

These plenty happiness that I felt at this moment
All the friends that I have here, you the best present
I am blessed because you always be by our side
Surely things that I have accomplished here, those things too give me strength (change to strength)
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
All of your smile has helped me endless time, you know

Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know

Thank you thank you Best Friend

my note: Can I be that person?

How Crazy

2009-01-21T04:01:00.000-08:00

I put my cold guitar inside its case.
People still want me to play tonight,
But I think I’ve had enough today.
Yeah, I’m feeling all right.

Adults give me advice all the time,
Strange people I can’t respect.
I didn’t really want to be like you at first.

My faded jeans rustle as I get on a subway train,
I peer into the window and see my dark reflection.
I haven’t changed at all, I’m still as I was back then.

I wish I had some money for a change, you know?

How Crazy!
Stop talking like you can read my mind.
You can’t, I’m telling you.
How Crazy!
I’m just a rat that escaped from a burning ship,
Sinking deep into the sea.

I’ve always loved my dreams and desires,
Blindly following them isn’t the way to go.

Walking up the subway steps creeps me out.
The light at the end feels dark and unknown.

In a parking by lot by twilight’s light,
I see a happy little kid, waving his hand at me,
Without a care in the world.

I yell at the naive child,
Trying to tell him to be wise,
To use his time as he should,
But I don’t know how to say it.

It’s useless, it’s hopeless.
He can’t understand either way.

Oh God, it’s so cruel. For both of us.

How Crazy!
Stop talking like you can read my mind.
You can’t, I’m telling you.
How Crazy!
I’m just a rat that escaped from a burning ship,
Sinking deep into the sea.

I’ve always loved my dreams and desires,
Blindly following them will do nothing for me.

Work, work, study study,
Get those A’s and honors in school
Or your family will weep in shame.

You can make a billion dollars in a flash,
But can’t respect yourself.
Baby, that’s me.
My mind groans under a thousand contradictions.
How long must I live in a world like this?!

How Crazy!
Stop talking like you know who I am.
You don’t, I’m telling you.
How Crazy!
I’m just a rat that escaped from a burning ship,
Sinking deep into the sea.

I clutched my cold guitar and sang a song by myself,
Just like I did all those years ago

-YUI-
credit of translation : madong

Welcome 2009

2009-01-01T16:33:00.000-08:00

The International Year of Astronomy 2009 (IYA2009)

This would be the astronomy year for the whole century, i think. There will be thousands of astronomical activities that will be carried out throughout the whole world for a complete 365 days.
Of course, Malaysia tidak ketinggalan :-

Galaxy Evolution and Environment, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
(29th March – 4th April 2009)

where my very loving-but-garang supervisor will be one of the speakers. He is one of the few astronomers in Europe who has access to the Hubble Space Telescope, and the one who invented the CAS parameter for galaxies.

So, Welcome to the Year full of AstroPhysics

Redang ~summer 07~

2008-12-22T16:23:00.001-08:00

tgh buhsan blaja cosmos, browsing gambar2 lama kt external HD...

rasa cam kt pantai negara omputih jek~

kalo kt negara omputih, penuh ngan papan surfing

tarik boat kami

in the end ~enjoyable~

Rusky

2008-12-20T02:44:00.000-08:00

Ketika daku sibuk mendengar earphone sound level tahap5, tiba-tiba Ira terjah dr belakang. "Nh, ader parcel utk ko".
'ekekekek...mee rusky kegemaranku sudah smpi~' bisik hati kecilku. Perjalanan ke PO radford tak smpi 10 min, tp terasa sgt lama. Mungkan dah hampir 3 ari aku tak berjalan jauh...mcm jauh super jek... parcel sgt berat. Terkeluar urat2 di tgn di ketika aku mengangkatnyer pergi.

Tanpa disangka2, dlm parcel tu ader hadiah besday dr akakku yg sgt memahami jiwa aku sebenarnyer. Thank you Linda~

Kaya dgn Nutrien ~too much contrary for an instant noodle huh?

The casts of Lucky Star ~Linda, aku syg ko 100%~

The Lovely Cards for a lovely family

The sweetest cards and gifts from the cutest friends

Lepas aku tgk kad2 ni, aku sedar, there are people who held their hopes on me. They are doing their best in whatever they are doing now. I couldn't be beaten by their hardwork. I need to strive myself too. Success, wait for me, I'm on my way~

Bola itu bulat...

2008-12-15T18:57:00.000-08:00

Man City vs Everton

seats depan super....dpt la nmpk neville dr dekat, slalu nmpk dier kt tv jek... haha....
patutnyer seri tp tiba2 utk 2 minutes extended time, everton masukkan satu gol, dpn2 mata kitorg. n dpt gak tgk pemain everton(lupa nama) dpt kad kuning. Kesimpulannya, puas ati~

Timescale~

2008-12-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

This comes from my own mind wondering~

The graph above shows the relationship between redshift(all those light dots and wave coming from our huge sky) and the timescale of the universe. Nk senangkan citer kalo redshift tu besar, so light tu dah lamer travel, tp oleh kerana universe is expanding, menyebabkan dier dah penat n semput so dier dah slow down skit(tu maksud redshift) biler smpi ke bumi. So, redshift yg tinggi, tandanyer dier dah tue(dier dah semput super). But the funny thing is, it is not a straight proportional line, instead it is a curved line(as above).

Nk kaitkan bende ni ngan kehidupan kita skang. Time skang (kt point (0,0) dlm graph), line tu infinite ke atas. So skang ni kita sdg mengalami infinite experience and infinite knowledge. But as time goes by, info dlm minda kita tu decaying little by little (dilupakan skit demi skit). Tp at the end of our life (line dlm graph utk part sebelah kanan) some of our memory will still be attached to us even walau lama maner kita idup pn. hehe.

(^_^)
This is a beauty of knowledge. How life can actually be directly shown by some scientific theory. I know, not many people will understand this blog post. hihi. But for me, AllahuAkbar!

Thank you my teens~

2008-12-05T15:45:00.000-08:00

1st year,
birthday disambut dgn aku dipaksa mkn telur mentah+kopi dan sos.... leh thn lg aa... sbb masa kt banting super horror lg aku kene, smpi lebam2, berlumpur2 skit...in the end, mesti ader kek yg comel dan lagu besday yg sumbang tp tetap menusuk hati biler dgr.... thank you~

2nd year,
disambut beramai2 time notts game.... rumble berkurang... agak matured kot, sbb sumer wat sajak sempena besday aku... dibacakan siap ngan puzzle gambar aku and bunga yg byk.... dak2 laki fizik lak sanggup masak bihun goreng utk aku.... pashmina hadiah korg still aku gantung sbg penghargaan.... thank you~

3rd and final year,
super duper aku segan n malu tp still happy yg smpi penat otot2 muka aku sbb byk sgt senyum.... huhu... disambut dlm dewan portland yg besar, dan rmai msian yg aku tak kenal.... sumer dpt tau brape umur aku.... huhu... nk kelentong dah takleh dah... perasaan pelik sentiasa menyelubung.... nk tunjuk happy secara mengada2 cam takleh sbb umur mcm tak benarkan.... in the end, tak dpt nk wat ape2 kecuali senyum lebar smpi skang.... (^_^)
Br dpt tau rmai berkorban utk dtg gak mlm td sbb nk sambut besday budak tak femes ni.... ader gak yg sanggup balik lmbt utk sambut besday dak yg tak best ni.... ader gak yg terpaksa berlakon super duper hebat utk elakkan dak sengal ni drp menyibuk ngan preparation surprise korg tu....

For all the things that you guys done for me.... Thank you so much.... I would not forget this superb event... and I'm glad I am growing old with people like you guys.....
Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasu!!!!

The Expanding universe

2008-12-03T08:17:00.000-08:00

stress? tidak... haha

universe is expanding, my horizon is expanding... cuma skang cam dah maleh nk layan the new info coming into my life... penat aa... biler nk cuti krismas ni~~

Bumi.... kalo alien tgk dr angkasa lepas,nmpk simple jek... lawa, kaler biru putih, bulat smooth jek... licin cam bola kaca... Life pulak... mcm permukaan bumi, bergunung-ganang, ader laut dlm, ader lurah, ader tanah rata, ader dusun, ader gurun, ader kedai tauhu bakar~hehe... cuma manusia2 yg idup kt bumi je yg paham perasaan betapa 'bergeriginya' bumi ni...

kita slalu jln2 atas bumi ni...nmpk flat, straight jek, tak perasan pn bumi ni sebenarnyer bulat. Sama mcm universe, we all are experiencing the 'inflation' of universe. Mcm maner bulatnyer bumi, the universe also have no boundary. There is no other side of the universe that we can look into. Mcm Bumi ni umpama bola, universe pn umpama sfera yg sentiasa berkembang. Org slalu kata bumi tmpt pusat universe. Mmg betul, tp setiap spot kt universe adalah the center of universe. Ok2, letak byk2 dot tanda marker kt belon, then tiup belon tu perlahan2...bila belon tu berisi angin, semua dot2 tu akan berjauhan antara satu sama lain... belon itulah universe... salah satu dot tu laa bumi...angin dlm belon tu laa yg meng'expanding~kan universe....

cukup laa pengajaran ttg universe utk kali ini.... haha... aku tgh stress ngan projek... blog ni je laa tmpt aku meluahkan stress aku~ maap2

Knight of the Shining Armour

2008-11-30T07:01:00.000-08:00

Rasanyer kita semua sentiasa nantikan our own Knight of the shining armour, utk slamatkan diri kita dr dunia yg tak best ni, especially time2 kita tgh depressed super. Am I too selfish to think that way? Shouldn't I be the knight of the shining armour for others? Shouldn't I be the one to help them to get up? But in the end, I will be the one to be blame. Mampukah aku utk menghadapi tuduhan2 tu nanti?

Tiba2 teringat drama House. "I would rather die watching the birds flying rather than dying wishing that I will have wings one day". We can't always get what we want but we can always inspire others to get what they want.

Rhapsody

2008-11-30T03:12:00.000-08:00

We all went to the university Choir & Philharmonia yesterday. The performances? Superb. Who knows that one of our classmates was one of the violin players in the orchestra. The solos for cello, oboe and trumpet i think, smoothly done a perfect job. My heart moved until the very last note they played yesterday. The choir was nice, gave me goosebump, especially for the soprano. Haha.

Minami: Piano Piece Of Sena - Long Vacation

My fav : August's Rhapsody from August Rush

Melodies played in every person's life. Mine would be classics and pop. I know, weird, but that's my life. Suke ati aa. Haha. So, what's ur melody right now?

YUI-sama

2008-11-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

haha.. My Short Stories arrived today~
here's the re-cap~

the package

the album

the entrance

the stage

the performances

~us~

that's all. And I heard my voice in the DVD =p

soul searching trip

2008-11-26T03:34:00.000-08:00

Why I felt in luv with astrophysics?

1. I love the spot in my home where I 1st felt in luv with the night sky. Even though my home located in the urban city, the calmness of those few light dots on the dark sky had moves my heart many times.

2. I am captivated by almost all the physics book that I had read. Most of the famous physicist that I known believe deeply in the Higher Power, God. I always wonder, what for Allah created all those dust so vast if it's not for human? (eg, like in CSI, for a crime to be perfect, it has to look as if it was a natural accurance; for me, for a perfect universe, it has to look as if it was a natural accurance that required the smartest mind to set it run so smoothly)

3. My heart beats fast and my hand sweating like crazy everytime I encounter with some physics problems. I get excited too easily when it comes to astrophysics. It's funny to see all those higher up physicists think too deeply about the problem but the answer is just on the surface of the problems. Allah had always said that we need to set a boundary to our thinking, not to think too much outside the 'box'. That is one of the key point Allah set for us, to give the hint that the answer to the question is just on the surface of the 'box'.

This would be my soul searching trip. And I am still continously moving on with it.

White Sunday ~almost~

2008-11-23T02:50:00.000-08:00

My final year with a snowing event ~nipis super~

outside my room
homeless

stairway to neo's room

my room
~on the other side~

Big Bang ~the beginning~

2008-11-22T05:54:00.000-08:00

The starting of my blog

recreation of physics into my Live Love Life

I’ve read this somewhere….. but the post here is still my words, not taken from anyone else.

The world is now proven to have a 4 Dimensional spacetime not just 3D. The axes are space ( x, y, z) and time(t). Do you know that all this combination of x, y, z and t are actually moving with the speed of light? If you are not moving at all (still mode), which means that your space (x, y, z) aren’t moving at all, thus your time(t) is actually moving with the speed of light which is 300 000 000 m/s. So, do you realize how fast your time is actually moving? Even if you are moving right now (eg: walking, typing, jogging) with your mighty speed, but how comparable it is with the speed of light? around 1/1000000 from the speed of light laa far most. Your movement is still not enough to make time move slower. No wonder they keep on saying, “sepantas kilat” coz it is the ultimate speed that one can achieve. Well, my point is, time doesn’t wait for you. Seize the day. If you want it, do it now. We are getting old as fast as a lightning without we ever realize it. Carpe Diem…